Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy from a dating app. He'd set the date and told me where to meet him. We met at a coffee shop, and he was an absolute gentleman. Five minutes after the date, I went to message him that I'd enjoyed myself, only to find he'd blocked me on the app. FML
Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
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Top comments
Airick_TheGreat 2
so I'm guessing the date went ok?
GigaPudding_fml 24
Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?
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Comments (262)
mycookiezz 0
seems like a pretty legit guy! father/husband material, lol
CourtD14 6
Haha imagine how weird it would be to tell people how they met
mycookiezz 0
lol, "I loved her from the day she sneezed on that ninja then wiped off her hitler-stache" kmsl, good story
flockz 20
damn how thick is your mustache girl?
randomlettrrs 8
as thick as an unicorn's mane
jonn090 13
no as thick as hitlers thats he called her a female hitler 0-0
idontcare8l 3
" an unicorn " i know its proper but i cant say it without studdering, maybe its just me
Blazingcrono 6
Shave that soul-stache Hitlerette.
NeverShoutDana 13
...So when's the second date?
randomlettrrs 8
tuesday. at aushwitz camp for ninjas.
heyhihello95 12
People online are never what they seem to be.
Absurd101 0
unless they are. with their pedobear fathers living in parents basement
krysxkatastrophe 14
He sounds like a keeper. He's obviously very knowledgeable of WW2 and the Japanese culture!
that_one_guy14 0
and apparently your not because the Japanese had samurai not ninjas
krysxkatastrophe 14
@226 I think you need to check Google.
artemisrox98 10
They had both, dude.
krysxkatastrophe 14
He sounds like a keeper. He's obviously very knowledgeable of WW2 and the Japanese culture!
krysxkatastrophe 14
Oops. Double post! Sorry guys.
heyhihello95 12
People online are never what they seem to be.
plebeianFelix 5
serves you right for scheduling a date after an irishman's had his breakfast. drunk is part of his business attire.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
umm hitler isn't in mw2...he's in waw i think
nikkon416 13
you are on the Internet. are you crazy?
explodingmuffint 0
retard she said WW2. Read before replying.
ThaBeasty01 5
this guys clearly top of his class ?
chronicstds 3
wow good job buttfuck
freshV43 0
167. your funny
talktomandybaby 8
178. your not.
MrSexyPants 14
"guy I met online" Ydi for that! People on the internet are crazy.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Yes they are "Mr sexy pants."
MrSexyPants 14
I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.
Jaxx66 21
we are crazy *nod*
Absurd101 0
hehehehe hay there little boy want some....CANDY :DDD?!?!?
cblt2007 0
only if it's long and has a gooey center :D.
onefinemess 11
#188 excellent! Loved it! As for you OP, not only is it pathetic you gave a drunkard a chance, but you honestly sat there through that kind of abuse? How desperate are you? Then HE left and not you? You totally deserve it. Here's a recommendation, get some self worth, any at all, before going on a date of any kind. That way you know how to date. Honestly I did better at 16.