Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
Alex_DeLarge 0
Even if that wasn't her, did you think insulting somebody would make you look cool?
Callyn 47
You're an ass. Even if she wasn't fat, she probably would have found that offensive. You should've just told her that you were there. If you weren't attracted to her, you aren't obligated to make a second date but you don't have to be rude.
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Comments (237)
Klabauterpete 0
Well... you didn't lose anything since you wouldn't be into her anyway.
matias_cba87 0
which is kind of funny, since most of you americans are fat as ****
the_stereotype 0
said the guy who is dumb as ****?
moonlight_daze 8
I know, right? Most of us are.
gonzolove 0
Funny, I just googled Argentina (because that's where your profile says you're from) and obesity and tons of news stories popped up about the obesity rate soaring. 75% of males are overweight in your country, and you're calling us fat? Sounds like a case of the pot calling the kettle black to me.
gonzolove 0
Also, the poster is from CANADA. Americans are not Canadians. Maybe I should say something retarded back to you like "Argentinians can't read". Because apparently you can't.
tigerrr 0
so i'm just saying this because i can, so i'm sorry if i sound like a total bitch, but canadians are actually american. canada is a part of north america right? so TECHNICALLY they are american. just like indians are asian and french people are european, canadians are american. i mean no one really sees it that way because we just consider people in the USA american, which is whatever, but i'm just saying.
gonzolove 0
Sorry my dear, but Mexico is not considered North America. I actually looked it up and Mexico is not part of the Northern American people we seem to associate ourselves with. So fyl. Also, yes Canadians are northern Americans. No ******* shit. Why don't you ask them if they want to be included in that.
Gculk 1
It's not North America? Oh well, it's south or central american then! Still Americans! Someone call the border patrol! Someone call the president! INJUSTICE!
gonzolove 0
Wait, I'm not European... Mexico is part of North America! But this whole debate was dumb because we all know that when people talk about Americans, they mean people from the USA. So quit pretending it is any different.
tigerrr 0
illegal immigration deals with COUNTRIES more than continents. and i'm the idiot?
gonzolove 0
#310, your comment was irrelevant to the entire debate. I'm not solely responsible for my country refusing to join in the North American Union or for my country refusing to completely open its borders. In fact, you have no idea what my views are on either of those issues. When people refer to Americans, they almost always mean people from the USA. Haven't you ever heard people from other countries insult people from my country? It's always "Americans are fat" or "Americans are dumb" or "All Americans love George W. Bush". I doubt that they were talking about Canadians or Mexicans when they made that statement.
gonzolove 0
Just the fact that your comment was a "what if" situation makes your comment irrelevant. I'm gonna go make some brownies to try to cheer up my roommate, but I'll be back later to further respond to your ranting.
gonzolove 0
Oh, I get it my dear. If you scroll up, you will see that I did not start the debate. I was originally responding to the asshole from Argentina who said most of us Americans are "fat as ****", even though his country has a soaring obesity rate as well. Now I realize that the US has a lot of obese people, but for some reason people from outside the US think that the only fat people in existence live here. Or at least they act that way on teh interwebs.
gonzolove 0
Yea I understand what you're saying. He wouldn't be able (or want, I would think) to say Americans if he was also considered an American. However, he could always say North Americans (which is more broad but still includes people from the US), or US citizens (though I doubt that he has that kind of vocabulary). I think even if we were all considered one big happy family of Americans, there would still be criticism on an individual country, it just makes people choose their words more carefully.
the_stereotype 0
how dumb do you have to be to do that on a BLIND date?
plexico 4
I hope you gave her a chance. She could have converted you into a Plumpa Humpa. There are advantages to dating fat chicks. One is there's a lot smaller chance of her cheating on you. Chubby Chasers are a small minority.
jeane123 6
wow thats really mean thats sad that mostly everyone cares on looks and not their personality im glad i dont have dicks like u for friends
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
YDI for not trying to impress your blind date. Even if she was stunning and not the chick next to you, do you think she'd be impressed by you calling people fat on your first meeting? So I think this one is deserved "Mr" Sarah.
You_Ninnyhammer 0
F her life.........ass.
Mikayla82ca 0
Duck Abortion!!!! I love it, I'm going to have to use that sometime. Even better then the post!
unhappyperson 0
Get over yourself.