Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML
Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
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Top comments
paperfox_fml 0
Yeah, there's nothing sexier than a purple faced panting girl with sweat stains under her arms who keeps circling your house. Gets me hot like nothing else.
halfpass 0
Way to ASSume. Conceited much?
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Comments (68)
Vasir 2
I agree with one, you know what happens when your assuming? you make an ass out of yourself.. and some guy named ming.
palmtrees 1
Running past him once and smiling is fine, but "running laps past his house?" Just creepy. Probably the only reason he said anything at all is that he felt uncomfortable and thought if he acknowledged you in some way you would stop trying so hard to get his attention by running in circles around him.
iloveericmaynor 0
#9 should have. not should of. thanks for sucking at grammar
palmtrees 1
ahh thank you #13, that particular error is way too rampant and it's starting to drive me crazy.
Blanadestroyer 0
You should give him a last try by saying: "Well, would you like to make me hot tonight?"
Big_Blue_Sumthin 0
At least he didn't say 'Do you want me to mow your lawn.' Who know's what the OP would have done then. So many ways that could be taken.
alwex 0
sounds like he was trying to start a conversation with you...
fitbrit89 0
Pahahah! I loved this FML. But you should have turned it around by saying you were joking when you had thanked him and make HIM look stupid instead...
6daysoverdue 0
you could have given him a blank look and said, "yeah, means I'm healthy."
deaditegirl 0
#12. Yes.