Today, my wife and teen daughter are at the point where their monthly cycles have synced, so when I got home and heard them screaming at each other, I quietly closed the door so they couldn’t hear me, and like a coward I hid in my car until the screaming stopped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, we heard screaming outside our house. My wife hid the door keys so I couldn’t go outside to help whoever it was. Her excuse? “You don’t ever run towards people screaming! Haven’t horror movies taught you anything? Whoever that is out there, they are not our problem!” Selfish cow. FML
Today, I heard my wife and daughter arguing. My wife took away my daughter's phone and laptop for being disrespectful. My daughter screamed, calling her mom a fat cow. My wife simply said, "Yeah, well you’re gonna look exactly like me when you grow up!" Now they’re both locked in rooms, crying. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, I convinced my daughter to tell my wife that the coworker she’s been getting a bit too close to lately touched her inappropriately so she’d stop interacting with him. After arguing and confrontation between the four of us, my daughter threw me under the bus and told them the truth. Now they’re all mad at me. FML
Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
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Top comments
SirEnigM0nk 22
Smart move. Taking cover isn't cowardly. There was no Valor in walking into this firestorm.
RichardPencil 32
Coward or strategic genius? It would be cowardly if you hid from them while you could have done something to help them. You can't help here except by being a punching bag, and no one needs that. Bring a book and snacks.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Coward or strategic genius? It would be cowardly if you hid from them while you could have done something to help them. You can't help here except by being a punching bag, and no one needs that. Bring a book and snacks.
JasonThorn 23
I have to go with the FML Jerk on this one. If you see a sign saying MINEFIELD AHEAD, what can you do? Go through and trust in your ability to handle a volatile situation, or avoid it?
Plop 17
The important question is which one synced on the other, i.e., who's the alpha? (Most likely the mom since teenager's cycles tend to be less regular)
SirEnigM0nk 22
Smart move. Taking cover isn't cowardly. There was no Valor in walking into this firestorm.
Vesi 30
Yeah that's just self-preservation there. Good luck! =)
Brightside86 31
Periods syncing is a myth.
Marcella1016 32
Nope.
dreams2383 20
definitely not a myth. at my old job all the women synced. it happens
CowgirlWithHeart 16
On the bright side you only have to deal with it once (a month)instead of twice if they weren't synched! Plus I would have hidden too, no one wants to deal with that!