Today, I was woken up by my dad screaming that the ship was sinking. I started freaking out before I realized that I was sleeping on my couch at home and was not in fact on a ship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML
Today, while I was sleeping on the sofa, my sister yelled right in my ear, "Attention on deck !" I jumped up so fast because I thought a superior officer had just walked in that I tripped over my own feet and smashed into our mom's glass fronted display case full of porcelain. FML
Today, I'm staying at my parents' house. I was woken up by the fan in my bedroom falling down. I calmly picked it back up and went to bed, wondering why my parents weren't concerned at all. My mom said she figured it was nothing, and when my dad tried to say something, she retorted, "You didn't even wake up!" FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
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Top comments
MandyO 15
And if you decide to have children someday, you will do the same.
MikuandKaito 24
Gotta love dads.
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Comments (19)
Jurbla 14
Wait, was your dad sleep talking? Drunk? High? Having a flashback? Suffering from dementia? This is the most mysterious FML I've ever read!
Danne696 14
OP's dad wasn't sleeping, OP was. Dad waked OP up by shouting that the ship was sinking, presumably as a prank.
Arot6 17
You've gotta give him points for creativity. It's actually kind of beautiful.
guesswhatlifesux 14
FYL for being woken up by your screaming father. But YDI for thinking you were on a ship.
andrmac 25
I'm assuming he wasn't thrilled about you crashing on the couch so he decided to sink your ship.
Shadowpartner 11
Maybe he was watching The Titanic for the first time?
Achuu 9
Probably the best dad joke I've read
IndridWarm 23
Once I woke up during a small earthquake and (influenced by the dream I had had) thought I was in world war 2 getting bombed by Germans.
Jonjon554 16
I don't blame you. Most people wake up confused when things are being yelled and whatnot. Hell, when my girlfriend take a nap at my house, she usually wakes up asking where she is lol