Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML
Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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Top comments
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
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Comments (213)
shelbi_T80 0
pussy
alloutbaseball 0
and ya i agreed with #69 this dude is a liar and #70 don't get butthurt.. i mean she is a 5 0" BUM she can't be strong (pending that this story is real) thus the 6 2" dude is either a skinny 6 2" 140lb weak panzy or he's just a weak panzy and just fyi even if you are a green belt, reach, size and strength plays a huge factor in a fight
ChelseaAnn08 0
I had to vote you deserved it. Basic street smarts...you NEVER expose your wallet and/or cash. Dumbass.
franciscossj4 0
ok u got own by a female bum that is 1 foot smaller than u, how did she hit u ? i guess she had to jump to get u or she got a stair, anyhow u got really slow reflex and if i were u i would call willie wonka and tell him that his worker hited me then i will proceed with suing him. PS: the rebelion of the ompalompa bums and they are meaner than ever before.
wanderingmaiden 0
u r a Dumbass king
franciscossj4 0
#72 its not that important about the hight, i am 5' 9 and i weight 140 and i am a black belt in kung fu and almost a moe thai master, and have beat people bigger than me in weigth and size. remember this a fighter's strength and abilities comes from his head not from his sizes and muscles. appearandes can be deceiving.
Slightmisshap 0
damn your a pussy.
rinnychan 2
Voting YDI because you were walking around with $200 cash stuffed in your wallet.
MyLifeIsGrrreat 0
I know a bum who smells like pee, he is my friend, I call him Perry even though his name is Fred :(
Jojul 0
What did she do? Headbutt your nuts? Real sorry bout that (must suck like crazy) but man.. This is just way too funny...