BoomHeadshot
Australia
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Caution
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Andy
United Kingdom
Stealth
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
annoyed
Paradise Valley, United States
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
charapos
Smashing awakening
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
ClumsyTeen
Staten Island, United States
Light sentence
Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Kaz
United States
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
I don't know my strength
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Top comments
linkinpark98 24
Wow... I guess Windex really does do wonders!
a1f0sff 25
Smart.
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Comments (86)
crazyluvbug 8
You should have quickly striped down to your boxers, hid your clothes, and tell her you heard something and you came to check it out! Lol
Ivette88 7
Awful ninja skills. Total FAIL!
silentblack 0
That's using ur head
hateevryone 15
Well that gives a new meaning to the term using your head.
Billy67_fml 0
Any one who calls there mum 'mother' deserves that
justin1971 13
Anyone who calls their mom "mum" is a dumb Brit. I mean, this is and American app, use murican customs
KiddNYC1O 22
#34 pretty much sums it up.
GSU2013 6
I hate the people on here who say YDI for sneaking out.... Have you never been teenager before or were you all just squares growing up? I mean damn.
Madrias 36
No, some of us were teenagers who weren't stupid morons. While some people spent their nights sneaking out, getting busted, and then getting in trouble, others actually did the radical thing and listened to parents, so we were able to go around and actually do fun things when they showed up. Don't see what's so fun about barfing in a toilet myself, but if you have to be drunk to have fun, you need a new hobby.
shadowblade525 3
That'd be perfect for a windex commercial
birdcagereligion 10
Think of it this way: Why would a glass door be open in the middle of the night? Next time you come home drunk, feel around and make sure it's open or not.
nbrunelli69 4
well then wtf makes it a party worth goin to