BoomHeadshot
Australia
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Caution
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Andy
United Kingdom
Stealth
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
annoyed
Paradise Valley, United States
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
charapos
Smashing awakening
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
ClumsyTeen
Staten Island, United States
Light sentence
Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Kaz
United States
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
I don't know my strength
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Top comments
linkinpark98 24
Wow... I guess Windex really does do wonders!
a1f0sff 25
Smart.
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Comments (86)
Mister_Triangle 21
Say that you were having nightmares about robbers breaking in through that door, so you head-butt it to test it's strength. Also that you're not drunk, you're just half-asleep
hellbilly205 17
Genuis!
kelissa_fml 16
Psh I headbutt glass doors even when I'm not drunk. :b
Incogneterpeter 1
Why do people post stupid shit like this expecting pity? You deffinetly deserve it.
MEM0817 18
Drink less the next time you try sneaking back in from a party...? or just be smart and crash at a friends house that night!
hellbilly205 17
I prefer passing out in my yard.
MEM0817 18
I'd rather sleep it off in my bed. The yard is full of bugs and crap, although it does sound interesting. I use to just tell my Mom I was spending the night at a friends house, go out and party all night, then go home but would wait around the corner for my moms car to leave for work in the morning. Haha.
SloppyFlamingo 4
Can I touch your belly?
linkinpark98 24
16 - Alriiight! Welcome to the club. :3
Ruffclue 9
Maybe it was dark ??
amberxxoo 6
You must have a big head if by hitting it on a door it makes enough noise to wake someone from sleep.
auzz1_pride 9
This is not true, some people are light sleepers and others are deep sleepers. For instance I can walk on my carpet floor and my mother would wake up from the noise my foot makes when taking a step, I think the word is creases in the floor.
hijaz25 4
That's the way to do it (: haha
hellbilly205 17
See when i sneak in from a party i avoid things like hitting a door with my head, you should try an be more careful you could of hurt the door.
breeY0 7
next time leave pjs in your car or something & change before going in, if you wake her up you have a better chance at bullshitting an excuse about being home the whole time !