Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML
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Top comments
Kervik 0
If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.
Kervik 0
I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.
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Comments (38)
Nsc007 0
I can sympathize with the OP. Even if I love reading a book, I tend to pass out after reading about 2-3 chapters. It's the only reason I haven't finished Gulliver's Travels.
uxoriouswidow 0
Is this part of a condition or something, because it can't be good...
brandnewkey 14
Not too bad at all! Now you got a nap in, can go shower off, and be refreshed for a new round of reading! Be happy your dog was an alarm clock :)
mr_nine2five 0
Teach your dog who's the boss of the house. Take him out side (if you have a fenced in backyard), tie him down, and piss on his head. After leaving soaking in your piss for a while then you can hose him down and let him back in. If you don't have a back yard, the shower is probably your only other option.
blee_v 0
haha ouch. Im sorry! i have had some things like that happen to me to.
xenomorph 0
Take a 37-degree bath and hang the book from a string. (Use a clip-on water heater so that the water stays at 37 degrees.) If you fall asleep, you fall into the water, which automatically wakes you up. But don't do it alone--there is probably a serious risk of drowning if you do it alone.
Fratkidz 0
Your dog worships you that is why that happened! He should go for a walk and get all types of treats because he is such a good doggy.
chicagoowns 0
yea... thts prolly not true
foxyshadis 0
Take a nap or get a full night's rest, and get a little light exercise to wake yourself up while you read. Dragging yourself to exhaustion and then trying to study at the end of the night is a great way to go nuts and fail everything.
ladiesman14 0
YDI FYL ! Merry Christmas and Happy all the other retarded Holidays that people celebrate FMLers ! i think i had too much egg nog with my adderall.
wh4t3v3R 0
YDI for not house training your dog. Naw, actually FYL I remember having to do weird tricks to stay awake at school too.