Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Kervik 0
If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.
Kervik 0
I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
revolutionnnn 2
Thats unlucky about the dog. But what is so hard about reading a book?
DwayneHoover 0
Narcolepsy fail.
tom9686 0
just ask a class mate what the book is about, if you cbf reading it.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
cbf? What?
Icyyy 0
Can't Be Found? Ahh, I have no idea.
itouchguy360 3
maybe the op had a terrible night sleep?
Kervik 0
If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.
McCannCanTriple 0
The book could be boring. School selections tend to be.
Kervik 0
I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.
Poke_my_mon 0
Read "A Prayer for Owen Meany".... If you can get through chapter one without sleeping... I'll find you and give you fifty bucks. Feel free to drink Red Bull, Monster or whatever. They can't save you.
waterynuggets 0
lmao
Trevv 0
Yeah I've fallen asleep reading school books before. Then again, I just got back from a Friday night track practice...
Icyyy 0
D;< What happened to coffee, people?
Danny0522 8
9 I fell asleep while reading a summary of that book
mushoo_fml 0
Sucky advice, dog or no dog.
lollipop217 0
there's this magical thing called caffeine, it works for most people...
Tigg3r 3
agreed #13. Oh yes OP? Tell your dog I said he is a very good boy/girl and that he/she shouldn't be punished for his/her owner's stupidity. I don't know if the dog is a boy or girl so yeah... I seriously hope it's a boy though.
blastvortex 4
Perhaps reading with a hot iron sitting on your lap would've been smarter. I also wonder that, if he'd told you that wolverines made good house pets, you might believe him. xD Now that's what I call a reality check - rude awakening, go!
MiRey_fml 0
Marking his territory, perhaps.