Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
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Top comments
Mpsteve13 7
don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls
Doortje 30
If you were pleased with our service, press 1.
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Comments (103)
Doortje 30
If you were pleased with our service, press 1.
Sathian 0
Win
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
If you need further assistance, press 2.
iSitt 0
pars espanol, tres
HunterDanielle 3
win!
furburger 0
It's a good thing you don't work at the drive-thru for Jack in the Box. The irony would be thick.
NINJAPROTOTYPE10 0
I know what else would be thick...
fml98kevin 4
haha
docscientist 10
Is there some event that happened at a jack n the box I don't know about that would actually make this ironic?
maybaybe 0
At least you have a nice voice :)
heyimdylan 0
haha true dat
UpsidedownKayak 9
Milly, that's what your name was. I couldn't remember your name but I could certainly remember the sweet, sultry sound of your voice as I beat off, rubbed one out, choked the chicken, spanked the monkey, or jerked off. Thanks for the good times. I will call you later. Now, I need a nap.
Sassybq1 13
hahahahaha u seriously the one? or r u just playin?
Doortje 30
No no, it was really Kayak. How else would he know all those details?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Yeah, it was Kayak. I was video taping the whole thing with my stalker-cam. He took one hour, twelve minutes and forty-two seconds to finish that call.
perdix 31
Sounds like you have a future as a phone sex operator. It could be your goal to get your "clients" to pleasure themselves, plus you get $3.99 a minute! Win-Win! Some people think they won't like phone sex, but once you get them listening to you describing in lurid detail what you'll do to them, you can wiñ them over ;)
uhhohh5252 0
ewwh lol
Stevefett 0
Stop having such a sexy voice.
chosha_fml 27
Ew, gross.
JPZDONE 0
nice! can I call ya?