Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun Sized: Not so fun for everybody. Warning: Funsized might be too small to handle.
every1luvsboners 11
It was tucked into his shoe. It's an old trick so that it doesn't fall out of his pants leg and drag on the ground.
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Comments (155)
ScarletBloom 14
You just wasted your money on the movie.
JinxosGirl87 0
He must be a grower rather than a shower...
barbiebitches 0
ummmm... right.... lol
Jimboom 12
YDI for dating Ken
thinkingatheist 8
It was hibernating!!
megan_lovee 0
lmao sometimes small is fun
OneHungLo_1984 3
Hahahahaha sucks for ya'll lol. That's why i love being italian. my girl finds it everytime with no problem :)
killakiwi 1
WTF is this even supposed to mean?
amit93 4
I bet you dont even have a girlfriend because you are so stupid. Your comment makes no sense...get a life loser
poppaof6 0
Means he buys big trucks, big jewelry, and has a big ego to over compensate for his teeny weenie.
hook_em 0
That's because he fistpumps pushups and chap sticks every day FPC!!
tweetbaby14 18
Cool story bro.
FunnyAssJas 0
Warning, putting small objects in your mouth can cause unsatisfaction and lead to a search for a new significant other.
Oo_Random_Here 5
Maybe the OP just mistook the testes for the actual dick? Or couldn't find out which way it was because it was over jeans or something thick presumably?
Poliahputz 0
maybe hes more a grower then a shower haha