Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cheapluxury 4
Shrooms are bad for you... in any form.
Graawr 7
Hah! now you have a mushroom mark on your skirt or jeans. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
Ingenious 0
One question. Why? And ew.
zerobahamut03 2
Someone hold me back before I slap the OP upside his head! WHY?!? WHY?!
theian01 3
I have a few questions. What? did you pass 1st grade? and how was this accepted with such bad writing and grammar? I thought we were grammar Nazis here....
allenrotstein 0
oh man.. sucks to be you!
biass 0
I really try to be creative in my post, but this one only brings one word to mind: Idiot.
skittle68 0
Eeeeewwwww.... I sat on a couch someone had pissed on in their sleep one time. I was livid. Luckily I was at a friends and had a change of clothes. Yuck.
SwiftCashew 0
*There WHERE no spare seats.
Mehness 0
10 - Apparently you aren't one, because your grammar is absolutely horrible.
r122989 0
So... I thought this was FML not grammar school.
seanders 10
Sooooo.... You thought wrong.
babydollxxx 0
I think you'll find it's actually not "WHERE" it's "WERE" ;)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
32, I hope to God you're being sarcastic.
Carlie_McCartney 1
? No...no, you've been mislead...
Carlie_McCartney 1
sorry, mine was directed at 32 :P
Geiko_fml 0
I too hope 32 was being sarcastic. Lol.
MsBrainDamage 0
DUDE!?! Why would you sit on the Mushroom!? Don't you know public bus seats are basically made of piss... you tard
acccccccc 1
That is one bad case of swass!
nalia18 8
that was... strange... WTH WERE U THINKING!!!!??!?!??! ARE U OUTA UR DAM MIND!!?!!?!?!? I MEAN COOMMMEEE ON!!!! EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
cheapluxury 4
Shrooms are bad for you... in any form.
mattman1994 0
especially when it's a fat lady's ass sweat
pandemic_fml 0
Pretty sure it was piss, not sweat.
Kua_Mei 0
Might've been blood.
acccccccc 1
it was a mixture between all three duh
ariel_xx_aos 0
that is sooo chat. haha sucks to be you.. but didnt you like see that its wet ?
marinus_fml 20
whoah, isn't it like 1am over there lol?
GraysonIsFail 0
Woah, creeper much?
marinus_fml 20
whoah, Fagger much?
GraysonIsFail 0
Fagger? Is that a word?
MAGNAVOX 0
No it is not. Creeper is though.
marinus_fml 20
creeper as defined by an ordinary dictionary has no indication that it means anything you intended it to mean. In which case the only solution was the urbandictionary. It's only fair that if your word cones from urbandictinary that mine can come from there, and indeed fagger is a word defined in there. Although it might not be a proper English word, it can still be used as an expression. Just like lots of other words not found in the dictionary.
loshysucks 0
....blaah
francisw93 3
Sop "chat"??
snagglepaste 0
Creeper! ò_ō stay in school dont do drugs
hater118 0
wtf is chat?
ZERO530 5
Yur A Cutie Ahha
smokeymcpottt 3
'Chat' is Australian slang for something shitty.
littlexlion 4
I am really amused by the mushroom shape too... FYL OP
Graawr 7
Hah! now you have a mushroom mark on your skirt or jeans. :D
xcl0wdx 0
ok, you're weird :)
loshysucks 0
u two!
MAGNAVOX 0
That's what happens when you are obese. You ride the bus because you don't fit through a car door.
DocBastard 40
Sone people ride the bus because it's environmentally friendly or because they can't afford a car. And nowhere does it say OP is obese. Shit, I'm feeding the troll. Please disregard this response. Seriously, stop reading now.
francisw93 3
Hah nice
MAGNAVOX 0
If they were environmentally friendly they would ride a bike. But it would take too much effort and she would lose her obese figure.
docscientist 10
This man is like a random response generator
babydollxxx 0
Well, actually. On the Stagecoach I was traveling on, the door on that is more narrow than a car door. But yanno what? **** it. Yes, traveling by bus makes me obese! :D Although, doctor says i'm the right weight for my height, but i'll inform him that i'm actually obese because I got on a bus! Thanks for hitting me with reality! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
Nerry_fml 0
^lawl
cheerupsookylala 7
you're dumb.
xcl0wdx 0
public transportation lol!
SpaceMannn 0
I sure hope it was a cold day and the warmness soothed you.... yeah no, that's pretty nasty. wash your butt!
Doopliss01 0
Yeah it happens to me all the time too :|
perdix 31
Mmmmm. Mushroom soup!