Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
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Top comments
cheapluxury 4
Shrooms are bad for you... in any form.
Graawr 7
Hah! now you have a mushroom mark on your skirt or jeans. :D
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Comments (110)
kianababiee 0
May I be so blunt to ask "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" ?
meanmachine511 0
do you go to Norwalk high?
Khfan12 13
Er....I was eating when I read this. Thank you for that. -_- *gag*
perdix 31
You must be pretty hot to make an old lady to rub one out on the bus just looking at you. Who knew she was a squirter?!
babydollxxx 0
LOL!
Vivalamariaaa 0
Haha. Fail
babydollxxx 0
Yes, this is my Fmylife post. I am the one with the shitty grammar. Sorry, hahaha. I'm not actually retarded even though it seems it. I mean I did sit on the seat even after I seen that there was some sort of mark on it and I forgot to check over my post aswell. I do apologise though, i'm not completley retarded. I promise. Anyway, I laughed out loud at some of your comments:') Some of them were just plain uncalled for and bitchy.
pinkdisco 3
Sounds about right for Fife, ahaha. Aw pet.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Maybe I'm just superstitious, but if I saw that someone's nether regions left even a suggestion of fungi on a seat, I'd take that as a sign and steer clear.
jbonzi 0
wow. seriously FYL! that's terrible. yuck
ricalizzypink 0
Disgusting! Lol @ bum.
AliaAlM 0
LMFAO!!!