Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML
Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Try knocking them out with your house keys.
redbluegreen 41
#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?
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Comments (164)
JillianlikesVogu 0
Start climbing, idiot. YDI
SuperRichFish 6
get Fluffy to do it, then feed him some chicken, Texas Tiger!
SuperRichFish 6
Then we'd have 1/1000000 of all the fmls we have, and nobody could post stupid random pointless comments that make me lol D:
xesyeso 0
nice throw.
redbluegreen 41
The point of FML is to share stories about things that mess up your day and then laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Really, read the rules sometime, idiot.
Lacrosse00 0
you totally deserved this. meathead.
123cheese 0
lol
The_Earth 0
can I hear a... YOU FAIL. anyone?
morgan320 0
then where will all the YDIs go?
KYLAsaysRAWR 0
throw a basketball or some other fairly large object up...maybe the bigger one will make it fall?