Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML
Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Try knocking them out with your house keys.
redbluegreen 41
#1: Is that really the only response you could come up with? I mean, sure the tree has wood, but it's not like it can do anything with it. When you see a tree, do you automatically think of having sex with it? Does it, I dare say, spark some of your hottest fantasies?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
katelynjoy 0
this is honestly one of the lamest fmls ever >.< fml for taking the time to read it
The_Earth 0
but you commented.. so this had to be a premeditated thing.. so, I ask, WTF?
katelynjoy 0
I wasn't being nice to OP I guess? My bad..
The_Earth 0
niceness is respected when done properly.
sapphirestar 0
Well, at least your keys are high up there and you still can see them, rather than in the drain! =x Good luck getting your keys, OP! :)
CoachLlama 5
Try knocking them out with your cell phone!
jinxthejinx 0
There once was an OP who was dumb And who thought, "I bet this'll be fun!" He threw up his key Which got stuck in a tree Now instead of driving, he must run.
Xephyr 1
throw a shoe cheap ones, preferably
redbluegreen 41
Why would you throw a shoe? It's a tree, not Bush!
Lilllly_1316 0
The fire-department might have to help you with this one. Or you could use a huggge old-lady reacher. :)
nickrob711711 0
YDI for being a idiot!
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being dumb... do something worth while instead of throwing your keys lol
HappyPickles 11
There is a simple truism that's applicable here: Don't gamble with what you can't afford to lose. Next time, throw your mother-in-law in the air...
glitterbabe224 0
hahaaha goodd one, op