Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending a GIF. Not a sad one either. It was a GIF of some dude disappearing into thin air. Ten out of ten for originality, but come on. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, I received a text breakup from my boyfriend while we were sitting right next to each other on the couch. He said, “This isn’t working,” and I had to ask, “Is this a joke? You’re literally here.” His phone was on silent. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
He's the one with no humor. GOOD RIDDANCE.
PETRONAS_fml 10
You know what... You actually rock.
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Comments (157)
jessherself13 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He's a jackass, you don't need him. That was actually pretty clever of you.
SoulAmeliorate 16
Looks like OP's ex was acting a little down.
fareith 15
I would have thought that was hilarious!
fml121785 14
Well, the first hint he's a jackass was that he said "Hold up" not "Hold on" or the numerous other ways he could have said it. You were just doing what he said, you can't "hold up".
sacmaster 11
55- ah but OP clearly demonstrates that she can! o_o
fishstick557 14
I thought it was funny. Wow he's a lousy boyfriend well ex but its okay OP you'll be better off without him
Ameel_fml 19
I thought it was funny too. Though it sounds like the boyfriend was going to break up with OP anyway and was just looking for an excuse. Who needs an asshole who can't appreciate your sense of humor anyway? :)
jessi_sunshine 26
That's really cute and endearing. I think the bf was looking for an excuse to break up with her but couldn't come up with a legitimate reason. Don't worry, OP, we love your sense of humour!
alphaskater09 9
If I had a girlfriend, and if she did that, and if I had balls, I'd probably ask her to marry me.
8KAGE8 8
I agree. I would love you forever if you had a sense if humor like that.
That_0ne 4
I think it's retarded. I would never have broken up with her over it, but it is a lame joke.
Zebediabolical 45
Sure you can. You can 'hold up' a liquor store.
SonyIsGod 13
He's dumb, because I laughed out loud.
Harpy20 24
He's the one with no humor. GOOD RIDDANCE.
rememberkids 14
I would've laughed, but done a face palm.
Lilo4life 26
That was so corny it hurts to read.
gotaplanstan 28
3 your comment is so bad it hurts to read. OP's sense of humor on the other hand, is adorable. Her bf didn't deserve her anyways.
fuzz97 23
I agree. Not a good reason to dump someone for sure, but corny as all hell
DocBastard 40
Lil4life and fuzz97 - NO. Puns are the greatest form of wit. It's only the fools who don't understand them who think poorly of puns.
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
@37 Glad you're keeping your mind... Up tempo.
R00ST3R 12
Doc, he who would pun would pick a pocket.
fuzz97 23
DocBastard, I really really REALLY hope that that was sarcasm
DocBastard 40
No, it was NOT sarcasm. Puns may seem silly, but they are the foundation of humour.
fuzz97 23
just because something was the original does not mean it's good "It's only the fools who don't understand them who think poorly of puns." Well I understood it perfectly and I still didn't think it was that funny. How do you figure that
rawr_ily96 24
#74 Maybe you just have no sense of humor.
beastseclipse 9
#74, You understood the pun. You don't understand humor.
fuzz97 23
Or maybe my sense of humor has advanced beyond corny puns
Jjimen1654 9
Its so corny, its adorable.
VeganVampyre 27
111- clearly it has. Your hilarious creepy man-baby picture obviously proves that.
fuzz97 23
you don't even know what my picture is of, do you? lol plus I fail to see how that has anything to do with my sense of humor. seems like you're grasping at straws there, champ
emilyjgraham 34
136, I think it shows a bit about your sense of humour. You find a baby with a uni-brow funny but you don't find puns funny. Just because your sense of humour has progressed on from corny puns as you said, it doesn't mean other people can't laugh at it. I personally think my sense of humour is quite broad. I like all types of it and I also don't get all ratty when someone makes a joke that I don't find funny. Different people like different things so stop being such an arse about it.
fuzz97 23
161, I think you have a very good point there
ImACat_fml 7
Here chip chip! *scratches legs* chippy!
AFur 10
Well that escalated quickly.
Joe9024 20
Well, that got old quickly.
fareith 15
Why does someone say this on every other FML? Come up with a new comment please.
MrBoredomioo 18
Overused much?
PETRONAS_fml 10
You know what... You actually rock.
livewire1701 8
You're awesome. You'll find someone who appreciates it. :)
rabidpeach 5
you are so thoughtful and insightful. Please tell me about the women whom you do not like at work.
KatjaM 15
Wow 91, you're a real douche canoe.
Dave_Davington 34
He doesn't deserve your awesome sense of humour.
hotPinklipstick 24
I find that quite hilarious. When someone asks me what's up, I normally respond with "a heartfelt Disney movie about an old man and a Boy Scout floating away in a house due to many balloons".
morella_xx 29
I bet that never gets old.
liss0711 10
I always point to the ceiling or whatever is up. Have a friend who taught her young son to say " dicks and helicopters" when someone asked him that. It was hilarious.
ApollosMyth 22
I would laugh so hard if someone did that to me, he just sounds like a dick.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Lmfao you have great humor!! I would've laughed OP. Screw him no one needs a party pooper.