Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
Whether you have a boyfriend or not, how do you feel comfortable wearing bathers without fixing your bikini line? I cannot do that.
ima_krackerr 0
hahahah.. gotta love kids
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Comments (148)
threecardmonty 2
Reminds me of the time I volunteered watch over some mentally disabled kids who were learning to swim. I've got pierced nips. The kids seemed to like them.
lexii29 0
hahhhaa this one actually made me laugh
mpwga 0
hahhaa, sorry, i must admit thats pretty funny, poor u. no, poor kid.
cheerup4lifesux 0
I kind of feel bad for the kid... no offense, lol
flamacue40 0
dude....
nat66623 0
Aww!!!! Hahaha I love kids they say the funniest things.
Laitue_fml 0
As a fellow swimming teacher.. when you are in a bathing suit all the time you tend to not be like "I MUST BE PERFECTLY SHAVED AT ALL TIMES" because otherwise you end up shaving all the time and it quickly gets annoying. So you let that sort of stuff lapse longer than you normally might. Also if you spread your legs that wide during whipkick you're doing it wrong. Knees together, feet swing wider than the legs.
okay17 7
Thank you for speaking the truth, @70. Instead of being an ignorant dick.
bryceF 0
alright, bush=gross, but come on all these people giving you a hard time for not shaving while in a relationship....there's better things to do.
LW4 0
hilarious and mortifying
ChartreusePony 0
#5, having hair down there actually helps to prevent infection but trapping bacteria before it can get inside you. It's there for a reason.
derschadenfreude 5
Erm, not exactly, but you're on the right track, 73. It's there to trap the pheromones you secrete when you get turned on and keep the scent there when someone sexy comes along so they can catch a whiff of you. And also to keep your fun bits warm, of course, although this one's not an issue since humans wear this newfangled clothing stuff nowadays. Sorry, OP. that really sucks, and it certainly is a pain to shave the bikini line. Just use Nair. It takes two minutes. Slip on your bikini bottoms so you know where to apply, let it sit, and hop in the shower to rinse it off. You don't even need to take off the bikini, since it's designed to get wet anyway. hope it doesn't happen again :)