Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why the hell would you be "examining and admiring it"? That's just disgusting!
citybeats 0
Being in your car alone =/= invisibility.
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Comments (102)
containsnosoy 0
I don't mind about the picking and what not, but the "carefully examining it and admiring it"? Really? Plus, stuck in traffic? When people are bored, frustrated, with nothing to really look at besides other cars and the people i them? You'd have expected people to stare at you in disgust.
sabers_an_s_word 0
I gotta agree with that... everybody picks their noses; hell, maybe you even look at it... but the use of the words "careful" and "admiring" is really off-putting. Therefore, I must vote YDI.
element01 0
so what.. screw them
Cthulu 0
you may have deserved it, but the way you worded it rocks. And the rest of you, you know you do the exact same thing.
kukopia 0
If you " failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me", how'd you know to post this on FML?!?!? I fail to follow your illogic.
LeStab 4
your sick
iFruit 0
Carefully examining and admiring your humongous booger? Wtf is wrong with you?
alex_mu 0
u do that when ur 3 years old not when ur an old working dude!
theblondeglory 0
Probably about 70% of men pick their nose. Of that, about 56% don't seem to realize that people driving around them can see them in their own car. Why do men assume it is ok to pick your nose in your car, especially if they try to hide it in other public places?
n3rdzgotskillz 29
YDI for not remembering "pick, lick, roll and flick". It's not "pick, hold out, examine, admire for ten minutes, analyse the colours, decide what they mean, lick, savour the taste, roll into a perfect ball and flick" for a reason.
amstillives 0
haha your such a beast..
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Hey, it could have been a lot worse. ;D
superboboboi 0
ur comment litterally made me barf a lttle. reading the instructions
rosebud_fml 0
you analyze your boogers?