Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why the hell would you be "examining and admiring it"? That's just disgusting!
citybeats 0
Being in your car alone =/= invisibility.
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Comments (102)
PaperShreds 0
Was it a pretty booger? If you're going to be humiliated, might as well be worth it.
jmoose311 3
I fail to see why this is a FML. Everyone picks their nose. How else are you going to get the boogers out? You don't always have Kleenexes handy, and frankly they don't do the job well enough anyway. I pick my nose several times a day to keep my nasal cavities clean, and I do it unabashedly and don't care if I'm in front of other people or not. Nobody says anything to me -- it's not a big deal.
neptuneflytrap 0
wtf? No, everyone does NOT pick their noses. And it's definitely not commonplace to examine them, yuck. I would never stick my finger into my nose...that's sick, and the feeling/appearance of a booger would make me gag. I always look for tissues, and if there aren't any, I just use some toilet paper to clean out my nose while I'm in the bathroom. But regardless if it's normal or not (I hope it's not), the FML part was that someone he knew from work saw him do it and was grossed out. Seriously, OP, keep some tissues in your car!!
weinerdog 2
You've NEVER picked your nose?!
jmoose311 3
#57 I call complete and utter B.S. Of course you've picked your nose. EVERYONE picks their nose. If noses weren't meant to be picked, the nostrils wouldn't be finger sized. Don't try to pretend you're all high and mighty -- you're not -- because you've supposedly never picked your nose. I HAVE to pick my nose because blowing it doesn't do squat -- my boogers are just too solid most of the time. It just gives me a headache when I try to blow and I end up just wasting time. I'd love to be able to launch snot rockets, but I've never been able to.
spaektor 0
you are my hero.
MissKia 0
That's disgusting.
sydd_fml 0
So your the booger eater my uncle told me about!
teebonehead 0
I got ya where I want ya now i'm gonna eat ya !
feed_the_ducks 0
Damn that must have been embarrassing, not sure why the thought it disgusting though, I mean everyone picks their nose...though they usually do it discretely and while they think no one is looking.
Six_and_the_Moon 3
So you got caught being gross. How can you possibly go on, now that your life is so utterly demolished by this horrible tragedy?
horsegrl951 0
o well who cares! sooo its just the owner!!! if he tells the other people u work with just denie it!!!!
flinkpamingo 0
Now that's just WRONG!