Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why the hell would you be "examining and admiring it"? That's just disgusting!
citybeats 0
Being in your car alone =/= invisibility.
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Comments (102)
kelpie_fml 0
LOL FYL if he knows YOU. Just too bad you dont have your windows tinted, lol.
marquisrs 0
YDI for being a disgusting **** muffin
lyfesukz 0
YDI for ADMIRING your booger! "today, i admired my booger. FML."
cave_man_ 0
that is really funny I have to admit Ive done that and then just stared at my booger as if I had never seen one before, but not in traffic LMAO!
drainyou123 0
WHAT THE ****???
UnearthlyEnemy 9
OH MY GOD!!!
Itselah 0
Fake. A riff on a Seinfeld Episode.
Jellytastic 0
first of all, why did you pick your nose in public? especially where everyone can see you
JoeTheBow 8
You were admiring it. Lmao
JordynBMTH 0
you're ******* disgusting.