Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
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Top comments
spazmattic 0
Do the truffle shuffle?
Jacobt24 19
at least OP isn't like some people and tuck their rolls into their pants with a huge bulge in the crotch area
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Comments (192)
pennstate13 3
do you store food in it, like stash a sandwich for later? plus you could probably even stick your cat under there
nhaylee 0
Americans are disgustingly fat these days, glad to know our future kids will all have health problems and die by the age of 30 because of irresponsible parents.
WallyTheWombat 0
Yes, ALL fat people are Americans. There isn't a single fat person anywhere else in the world.
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
The person who wrote this FML is from Canada, you fail..
HahaYDI 0
In the words of the Great Daniel Tosh, "maybe if your horrible country's food didn't taste like dong you'd all be fat too." As previously mentioned, the OP is Canadian.Yes, fat people exist everywhere. You're ignorant.
jake7787 0
wow...I bet the security person felt like a real ass when he found out...
megagingerbeast 0
then mabye go on a diet
Acaprice14 9
rolls on rolls!
SilentTreatment 7
I'm taking it that, that was your extra carry on luggage???
crazytay 0
lmao aw.
hateevryone 15
someone needs to push the dinner plate back
taazer 12
maybe you need to loose some weight ;)
taazer 12
maybe you need to loose some weight ;)