Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML
Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML
Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML
Today, I was so desperate for a friend that I posted a Craigslist ad to find one. Now my phone's filled with spam and I still don't have any friends. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
It's a shame that all the good ones are locked up.
Steve95401 49
A "pen pal" who is in the penitentiary. Not a good choice OP.
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Comments (220)
Steve95401 49
A "pen pal" who is in the penitentiary. Not a good choice OP.
bsmith9942 11
Wtf are you thinking!?
Rei_Ayanami 18
Yeah, #1! WTF were you thinking?! What's that, #3? You weren't talking to #1? If that's the case WTF were you thinking replying to their comment?
bsmith9942 11
I wasn't actually trying to reply to #1's comment. I meant to just post it. I guess I hit the wrong button and didn't realize. Sorry to piss you off with my mistake asshole.
biggestfan23 11
Def. not a good choice, if he gets out and finds you with another man it could get a little hairy
samiiii_fml 2
That is definitely a good way to lose all of your money (since they'll ask for money for their books, if you're their "real" friend they'll think you should do that), and possibly get murdered when they get out. No big deal OP
ebonyirony 29
1- I think it's a great idea! At least now if the inmate gets obsessed or something, he'll be safely in prison. Til he gets out. OP better stick to death row.
highway_unicorn7 5
First date= Bailing them out of jail
starscream631 0
Lol tru
PeteyPablo12308 20
You can't bail someone out of prison. Prison means they've been sentenced and is for long periods of incarceration.
tjv3 10
That's really sad OP you can write me :)
lms1997 3
I would be more comfortable talking to the dude in prison... O.o
mhopper 13
Online dating isn't working for you?
buck33 14
"Arizona state prison. Where true love begins." It's kind of like eHarmony except it's free.
PerfasarusRex 3
Your life is slightly below average
ekb777 13
Perhaps she has tried online dating and it has not worked out and op thinks a prison inmate will be desperate enough to want her
FMLKitten 15
74- I don't think this FML would be here if what you said hadn't been so obviously true.
make_me_smile 4
Become a stripper
zandalee 20
OP you sound about as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market. Maybe time to sit down and have a serious talk to yourself.
Jaxx66 21
Nah OP. that's not bad. But don't go for people who'll make parole. Do what I do, get death row inmate pin-pals. I have a few I can share.... Josh Drucker, Troy Clarke.... They are nice guys. But keep a BIG HUGE RULE!!!!!! No rapists! >_< that's my rule.
DocBastard 40
It's a shame that all the good ones are locked up.
ImJK_fml 0
First! You're an idiot You suck lol
samiiii_fml 2
All the good ones are locked up or gay that is.
Roevera 14
Or already taken!
Inheritance 10
No, no 27 they turn gay with in prison! Dropping that soap must be rough!
SkoomaKi 28
#27 - Check the friendzone, the place where most nice guys are.
Drigr 9
Man Skooma... If I had a nickle for every time a girl has told me, "I wish I could meet a guy like you..." well.. I'd still only have about 15 cents, but that's cause I don't have any friends...
samiiii_fml 2
#69. I am lucky to have a wonderful man who takes care of me and our daughter, but I agree completely the girls who complain about no good guys usually pass up the good ones, leave them as friends and go for the bad ones.
olpally 33
69- I'm always in the friend-zone.
mckibben 7
Or the family zone. They tend to be there too.
S182 15
That doesn't always stop people....
petraphotoDOTca 6
get out if it! start being 'busy' - not the shoulder to lean on that is always there. distance makes the heart grow fonder. ....they'll come back running to you. huzzah! ;)
rkailin1479 3
#69 two of the guys I dated where both my best friends before....
wildsweetchild 19
178 the key word is "were".
Hockeyboy4280 18
The irony in DocBastard's comment is legendary...
tereiscool 1
Lmao
opalmaster69 3
I know the feeling. The first guy I've liked in YEARS told me I was too awesome to date. Right after he kissed me and I told him I liked him.
Sicilysstallion 2
If your luck you'll be the first person he rapes when he breaks out of prison
mrshutcherson123 3
Hahahaha
DocBastard 40
This is what passes for humour? Oh, and put on a damned shirt. We aren't impressed.
emeraldisle 30
5 - *you're
emeraldisle 30
Edit: god damn double posting
downvotegrammar 3
5- *you're *lucky
Sicilysstallion 2
Fatty
ImJK_fml 0
#5 Hey kid, I don't know just how hot you think you are but you're really not and it's not a reason to say other are fat without even seeing them. PS: Your not funny.
DocBastard 40
Sicilysstallion - I'm assuming your "fatty" comment was directed at me, since I'm the one who called you out on your fantastically-impressive shirtless picture. If you'd like to fantasise about me being obese, feel free. Unfortunately for you I'm married, and I happen not to be into guys. But your fantasies are your own. Hell, you can fantasise about me being obese in a French maid costume if it suits your fancy. Enjoy!
FMLKitten 15
Thanks for the suggestion Doc! Those are some new fantasies to add to my imagination :-D
Mikeskinner 7
Dude, no one is impressed. Abs on a skinny guy are as useless as **** on a turtle.
lore420 2
Hahaha people are getting all mad ! **** them ! That shit was funny!
freshberries22 17
Long distance relationships hardly ever work try an online dating site that has a smaller ratio of criminals
aaronmk 7
Just got dumped from my long distance, at least she wasn't in prison I guess
freshberries22 17
16 I'm sorry to hear that it really is horrible when a relationship doesn't work out and you can't do anything to fix it
Drigr 9
Yep, I had a long distance relationship for about 4 months. It was actually going pretty good til she started drinking and I found out she was batshit crazy and her friends threatened to hunt me down and castrate me cause she started a fight with me.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Long distance relationships work... as long as she isn't a ****/*****/deceitful bitch.
deedeee 9
You'd be safer finding a man on Runescape
ebonyirony 29
9- it's very similar to Nordic practice in Skyrim. "hai" "hey r u really a grl" "yah!" (troll face) "be my gf?" "yah be my bf?" "omg yay"
Fmls4life 6
Yeahhhh, Runescape refrences add me:)
pittsy1310 0
Haha or on mw3
Drigr 9
Or chatroulette. FMLs4Life - Drigr X - I'll be in the runespan on W64
KogMaw 6
My god. More people from runescape O_O... Sadly, I live there :
thetguy 4
Hahaha you had me rolling at skyrim.. I've literally played that game nonstop for months
TrueTriage 16
Speaking as a nerd we aren't all that awkward! And can make for a good laugh when you get to know them!
FaraPjJammaz 13
Not on runescape world 1! That place is full of weirdos lol. But since OP's desperate, maybe she'll enjoy the weird messages random people send you.
cutielilangel 8
Oh man how I miss Runescape! It was better back in the day though. :(
OuchAndGoodfight 5
So you like Kog'Maw, huh? I never really mastered Kog.. Ashe was always the easy go-to girl. I mean, her froZen arrows rock. :]
adison_anes 3
I found my ex on runescape too, we dated for over 2 years but she decided to move on to some guy she found on WoW
grimlock718 10
this and the skyrim are the comments of the night lol gave me a good laugh
saIty 17
Hitting on a homeless guy would be a much better idea.
FMLKitten 15
My friend's cousin married a homeless guy. True story.
olpally 33
You gotta be kitten me! :D
FMLKitten 15
97- I salute you for making a great reference ;-D (hint to all those that didn't get it: check my profile)
FMLKitten 15
And if that WASN'T a reference to my profile... well, now this is awkward... *cough*....
olpally 33
It was a reference to your profile!! Awkwardness avoided! :)
FMLKitten 15
Good, I didn't need to be even more awkward than I already am. ...god, that was awkward wasn't it?!
olpally 33
It's cool.. I'm the same way! :D
Kyle225 3
Why cant you just go on a regular dating site?
chel325 2
My aunt married someone who has a life sentence. Now that's desperation.
highway_unicorn7 5
Did she get married in a jail cell?
itsme1321 3
Unitard - 1. Most prisons have a room dedicated to worship services. 2. Civilians not detained in the prison system are not allowed into the housing units (cell blocks) of prisons. 3. You're an idiot.
starflyer59 17
I'm sorry. I just look at it as "theres always someone out there either as desperate or even more". I don't understand this whole getting married to a prisoner thing. Maybe it's just me.
DrBlack 9
Theres a proper word for it actually, women who are attracted to dangerous men / criminals. It's called Hybristophilia I think.
alycion 39
Marrying someone with a life sentence still essentially leaves you alone. I don't get it.
bjf10 22
That's, uh, dedication... I guess.
rooney0710 5
Just get closer to friends while you wait. I'm sure love is around the corner ;)