Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Don't use eHarmoney. The guy was probably joking about his condition and you took it the wrong way. Don't be so harsh.
bellus 0
i don't get the pun.
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Comments (108)
Freeze_fml 17
Don't use eHarmoney. The guy was probably joking about his condition and you took it the wrong way. Don't be so harsh.
Freeze_fml 17
It was a pun.
FFML_314 12
Bunnyhunny felt really good for a second.
bellus 0
i don't get the pun.
heynow00wellthen 0
hahahahaha that made me laugh xD he sounds like a keeeepeerr!
remy3106 10
^ creeper**
FFML_314 12
Lol, I know. I wasn't meaning it in a bad way. People feel good when they can correct a Grammar Nazi! I know I do. :)
comedychick 1
lmfaooooooo that's scary and slightly disturbing that's one of my biggest fears..
buzz18 7
creeepperrss, who says that when first talkin to someone?
FFML_314 12
Well when you do it intentionally, it's not as fun. Ah what the hell. *What
sourgirl101 29
28 lmao! It's been almost ten minutes and no one has jumped down your throat yet? Is the world coming to an end? (:
FFML_314 12
*?
skroal 7
This is the most confusing set of comments today. As for the OP, eh, just don't log back on to whatever site you used.
dusthawg 4
like the new pic Remy!
flakes_fml 0
haha that's punny
Oscar_Wilde 0
Maybe the guy was pretending to be Edward Cullen.
redoxy_fml 0
#24 that's necromancy!!
kirbinator 0
hide yo kids hide yo wife and hide your husband cause they rapin erbody out here
PimpdaddyCJT 13
lol ^^^^
2an1a 4
#52...that dude was soo funny....he made me laugh so hard
KiddNYC1O 22
lmaoo 52 win
BahahahLOL 0
give him a chance :'(
rowerforlife 0
omg 52! that guys hilaaaaariouuus!
bonicr 0
I don't get the pun, 7 can you explain?
term164 0
LOL worked perfectly.
EricErection69 0
19 bother do i
TibbysMusic 1
For everyone who didn't get the pun: EHarmony costs tons of money, but they don't tell you tht until after you finish the hours long survey. So he put EHarMONEY instead EHarmony. Jebbus people.
bonicr 0
Ohhh I get it now...
JayBear14 11
i hate when guys act so attached, that would freak me out, i feel for ya.
underaegis 0
yeah but if it's a girl that's really attached it end up as... guy: we need to talk girl: sure honey guy: your to clingly don't come over to my house more than once a week unless it's for sex. girl: fine then... you'll just have to come to mine
roker 0
wow ur really hot. are u single?
Primus_fml 0
That just means you're hot :D! Unless he has a weird fetish.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
he probably has a bondage fettish. He ties girls to his bed.. and never let's them go :0
Primus_fml 0
Sexy.
idkmyusername 0
lol, sounds like that new rihanna/eminem song
Jessi_the_sexii 0
rihanna is a perv lol
illmatic2 16
Rihanna is kind of hot. :P
KiddNYC1O 22
Jessi is sexy
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
Her brother calls her sexy. True story. Ask her. Yes. :)
Jessi_the_sexii 0
lol...thanks Jake..
FFML_314 12
I would not want my brother calling me sexy. Very strange.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
it's because a special Ed kid used to call me that so my brother uses it as a joke to make fun of me
TheOptimist 0
Are you sure it's a joke? I'm pretty sure I smell incest in this relationship.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
I'm sure lol. my brother only calls me that on ocasion it's more my friends than anything haha.
TheOptimist 0
Phew, that's a relief. I've seen enough incest today already, and it's 1:00a.m.
KiddNYC1O 22
you're welcome Jessi
iron_chefITALY 0
he's a keeper
bluecat_fml 0
time to go on a date on elm street
Schizomaniac 24
It was me. I WILL be dreaming of you tonight. 0_0
And_Jelly 0
Creepy.
illmatic2 16
Buy a tazer. They really work.
gaylyn101 3
seriously!
primadonna9396 16
Yeah... YDI for not expecting shit like this on a dating website.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
LMFAO... sounds like my kinda guy LMFAO