Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML
Today, in the middle of a romantic walk through the park where we had our first date, my husband actually walked into a tree because he was looking at a woman who had sat down on the grass in such a position that he could see up her skirt. Very romantic of him, I must say. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I need more context. If he peed on a mall Xmas tree, you'd have a problem. If you're out in the woods, what's your problem?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Hey, at least it wasn't on your brand new soft fabric couch.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
I need more context. If he peed on a mall Xmas tree, you'd have a problem. If you're out in the woods, what's your problem?
Yudith 28
That's something useful to know before the next date. If he pees on a tree in the city's downtown, you can certainly burp and fart in front of him.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Hey, at least it wasn't on your brand new soft fabric couch.
RichardPencil 32
Poppie's gettin' sloppy.