Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one who's in my math class, noticed me, despite me trying to hide. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
Today, as I was getting ready to go to class, I accidentally stepped in dog poop. I was in a hurry, so I scraped it off as best as I could. When I go to class, I noticed it smelled. The girl behind me noticed and said, "Mmmmm, smells like food in here." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skyeyez9 25
My female friend was in the army on a field training exercise. She had to poop so found a private spot. Just as she was in the middle of #2, a group of Rangers filed past.
youngbutwise15 5
Yes, it centainly wil be, buddy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
so_unfortunate 0
eh dont worry about it dude... we all have our fair share of embaressing encounters as such....like me....got caught changing in my car...i couldn't look that guy in the eye ever again..
Monikabug 9
@1 The changing in the car incident has happened to me, too! It is even more embarrassing when the man just stands outside your car window, staring until you drive away.
greendaygirl999 5
Eh, it's not like you're the first one to do it. Don't beat yourself up about it
spiderman0606 0
haha that's funny, but I bet you were fine. Just one of those things you can easily laugh off.
DGross 8
Good thing her dog didn't get "pissed off" (on) and go after your wood :-P
ReyEr9412 0
Nice try with your pun, but it didn't really work. And to the OP, yeah that sucks now but both of you will have forgotten about it by next week. Try to go further into the woods next time.
Monikabug 9
You know, D. King of the Bad Puns. He owns up to it, and he owns the title well. LOL :) at least he tries? sometimes they work out perfectly.
ydiftw 0
In Soviet Russia, tree pees on you.
SciGuy013 0
^^ this
bibblz 0
ydiftw?? WTF nobody gives a shit bout u or soviet russia go die in a rotten pussy
alexsannell 13
why do guys and dogs pee on trees? hmm..
aardvarkish 17
@ 42 Somehow, the "Soviet Russia" jokes aren't as funny today as the "Russia" jokes were during the Soviet Era. Nowadays, I'm kind of like "So what?"...
ReyEr9412 0
You do realize that that was 19 years ago right?
Russiandon214 0
it's better to be pissed off then pissed on
smartman136 8
in russia pussy dies in you
DGross 8
@23 ehhh just like life you win some and lose some but as long as your "up" by the end of the day (take note... now that was a bad pun...) you know you've done well... but seriously I don't plan any of these jokes they just happen:-P @46 lol... are you suggesting men = dogs or just that tree are strangely inviting?
StoryOfTheYear 15
sorry if this sounds bad, but if you have a decent dick and she was hot, I would consider this a good thing
LemonMan 0
Is ******* Sparta
u_no_u_want_me 0
that's not very nice
GeoThermalSleuth 0
Why would you go and Pee ... IN A PUBLIC DOGPARK!? Seriouslly dude that's just weird. But hey, on the brightside, school will be fun tommorow. :D
bobby3130 0
not embarassing unless your small
epound28 0
^This
Duran40 0
@55 lmfao hahahaha that was pretty funny aww I forgot what I was gonna say oo yea **** Russia!!! hehe
deathcab7 0
... i need to visit russia someday.
Blue_Coconuts 7
You wanna get peed on by a tree? Come to LA and I'll buy a tree costume and yell things in Russian for you. It'll save you some money.
itsmi 0
for the ******* win omg
Kureeziineko 3
@80, did it ever occur to you that some guys prefer their privacy no matter how big they are? PS it's spelled "you're"
ckydc 0
@112 ps: you forgot the : after ps. Don't try to correct someone else, if you can't.. cool guy?
AndreaHaha 0
haa sucks for you was there like not a restroom near by?
bobby3130 0
114 your bomb 112 your a bitch
i_am_bomb 0
because we can
youngbutwise15 5
Yes, it centainly wil be, buddy.
afatmonkey 0
I knew a guy who peed in the Coca Cola Factory, but his stream got on some wires and he was given a shock of electricity, which turned him into an impotent meatbag. (I bet he won't drink POWERaid again, huh? heehehehe-I am so funny..... laugh dammit!)
Rangant 7
lmao I have no idea wat that whole coke thing was about but ur 'laugh dammit' at the end worked
epound28 0
Powerade is a Coca-Cola product, you fucktard.
matt1337c 0
@afatmonkey Mythbusters proved that fake. You lie!!!1!
Leprecon 3
Actually, if you would use your brain instead of watching some unscientific entertainment show, you would realize it is possible. Mythbusters even corrected themselves by trying to electrocute someone like that, and succeeding.
chunkymunky666 0
dude I read ur info, and you sound awsome :D
ArielTheMermaid 17
98 but I saw it on 1000 ways to die!
thedoghouse_fml 0
HA did you bag it?
bugmenotmofo 34
I just voted no on this.
fsebastianslife 0
haha first
aardvarkish 17
happens on patrol all the time, bro
daniel1_1 13
u cop?
aardvarkish 17
My smart-ass answer is: "Does that look like a police helicopter to you?" But seriously, I mean on combat patrol overseas, where if you steal away to relieve yourself in private, that could be the last time your buddies see you alive.
Monikabug 9
At least your dog didn't try to bite off your "stick," like the one I just Mod'd and said No. :)
itz_towelie 6
how can you say no to a fml about a guy who got his dick bit off by a dog?
Monikabug 9
Just by clicking NO, silly. :)
jamie_leeann23 0
ydi for living in alabama. ;)
wrestlerbeast 0
fail ^^ I live in Alabama....
xelao 0
fail. you live in alabamba.
denbeste 3
FAIL! we're all equal except me, because i'm better.
gigi_bella 0
Shoot him sexy looks during math. "I had fun last weekend." *sexy hair flip.*
beckster_05 9
#11 Uhm, the OP is a guy and the person who saw him is a girl. ^This happening would be interesting, nonetheless... Ahaha
gigi_bella 0
Oops, sorry, you're right. :)
skyeyez9 25
My female friend was in the army on a field training exercise. She had to poop so found a private spot. Just as she was in the middle of #2, a group of Rangers filed past.