Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML
Today, I met a super gorgeous girl at the bar. We laughed together over drinks and it was all perfect, until she told me she wasn’t from this town. We hugged goodbye and she left. When I went to pay our tab, I realized I’d been pickpocketed by her. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML
Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML
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Top comments
YummyNummys 0
God damn how much did you give her?
Tabbykat9698 0
YDI for falling for the bartender trick.
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Comments (68)
Lisa89 3
surely YDI since you gave her the tip knowing you didn't have much money... And YDI for thinking she would suddenly want to be with you if you did?
palmtrees 1
YDI for so many reasons... drinking to drown your sorrows, trying to buy the bartender's affection, not knowing how much money you could spend before you went over your credit card limit, spending so much money on alcohol when you apparently don't have much at the moment... OP, you do realize the point of a tip is to thank a server for a good job, not to get them to want you, right? If you want to trade money for sex, go find a prostitute, not a bartender.
CallMeHush 1
Too bad huh? Everyone knows bartenders love going home with the sloppy drunks they have served all night. Strippers love you too!
theblazian 0
STRIPPERS CARE! YOU DON'T KNOW MY CINNAMON! YOU DON'T!
CallMeHush 1
:D Your the lucky buy 2 get one free lapdance guy!!! She talks about you all the time.
perdix 31
There was no husband/boyfriend until your bank told her that you are a drunk-ass hobo, then he materialized out of thin air. YDI for so blatantly attempting to purchase sex. You should have asked for a date, left a normal tip for good service and then wait until the date to shoot your wad (I'm talking about the wad of cash this time ;) )
itspimpz 0
YDH = you dick head.
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
Yea , I agree with almost everyone becuase YDI for not just asking. You decided to give her cash because...... did you think you was get some? Lol.
Nellybert 0
At what point in the drowning of your sorrows did you think 'she looks like the kind of woman who's impressed by a guy getting drunk alone at a bar'? Because that really was the point when you should have realised you were pissed and called it a night....
BikerMike 0
bartenders and strippers can make a couple hundred bucks a night in tips from drunk asses like you.
Totenglocke 0
Sorry, but only idiots go to bars. Why pay 4 to 5 times more for alcohol? You deserve it for wasting your money in a bar.
lm_wfc 0
lol - you sit at home on your own drinking?
myfriend_youfail 3
They've got a point. If you want drinks and companionship, go to a bar. If your only goal is to get shitfaced and drown your sorrows in alcohol, pick up some booze and drink yourself into a coma at home, and save yourself a bit of money.
Totenglocke 0
"If you want drinks and companionship" -- it's called "having friends". Invite them over to get drunk and save a ton of money. That's why on the rare occasions my friends insist on going to a bar, I don't drink because it's a complete waste of money.
myfriend_youfail 3
I mean besides inviting your friends over to get drunk. I'm talking about...errr..."companionship". The kind you buy drinks for, get into the panties of, and forget about the next morning when she leaves in a cab.
Totenglocke 0
If you're so lame that you can only get a girl by getting her so drunk that she doesn't know what's going on, you should spend your time working out and working on your personality - not getting drunk.
myfriend_youfail 3
Agreed. But some people actually do that, that's pretty much why bars exist. To drink and chat with drunk strangers. I personally hate bars. Only been in them for Halloween bar crawls involving couples' costume contest with a monetary prize. And even then, I just stuck with my boyfriend and pretty much had a lame time of it.
Totenglocke 0
Eh, I'd argue that bars exist because there are a lot of people who fail at math and don't realize that paying $5 for one beer in a bar is completely stupid when you could buy a 6-pack for like $8.
myfriend_youfail 3
Either that or they're so desperate for a lay that they're willing to piss their money away on overpriced drinks. Or maybe it's a psychological thing, like at a baseball or football game. I always find myself wanting to buy a snack, even if I ate just before the event. There's just something about buying food and drink while you're being entertained...
Totenglocke 0
"There's just something about buying food and drink while you're being entertained..." What does being entertained have to do with sports?! I know people will whine, but it was too good to pass up! =D
myfriend_youfail 3
Oh, I dunno, the last Colts game I went to was pretty entertaining! A player practicing punts on the sidelines during halftime hit a cheerleader in the face with the ball...and then brained a 5-year-old junior cheerleader with his next punt. And then two players got their helmets stuck together and had to smash them on the ground to get unstuck. I live for moments like those. Lol.
marc_with_a_c 3
Good job, you moron. But yay for the waitress, she made some nice money with you that day ;)