Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
greenfairy_fml 0
you should have said "at least someone can get it up"
Yunie_fml 0
Nice guy. Been together long?
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Comments (88)
AliSama 17
#10 noname is default if they don't put a name. hence no name.
you_suck 0
nothing like seeing christmas lights in march
greenfairy_fml 0
you should have said "at least someone can get it up"
lost_at_heart7 0
#13 i agree i would hav said somethin smart like that bac too. n for the record i feel that he is kinda a dushe and DUMP HIS ASS!!!
lil_ham1644 29
*douche
TheAntiComment 0
Well hey, in his defense, I would love if a girl rubbed my belly
Fails_at_life 0
your fault for not being more of a turn on
such_is_life_fml 0
Erm, #15 is a douche? And lol #14 xD I've also never heard somebody say "came out" instead of "got hard" :þ
ohdamn_fml 2
I second what #6 said
Ready_set_owned 0
HAHAHAHAHA LULS OWNED YOU GOT OWNED LULS LHAHAHOJIJIJSIJHDSUHDUHSUH UH WHY DID I WRITE THIS?
TheAntiComment 0
16, a dogs penis has the nickname "red rocket" because... nevermind, its not like a human penis, just gonna say that
bobdole 0
he was probably joking, just like most of the FMLs