Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
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Top comments
Hammer1722 19
Look on the bright side OP, you didn't crash!
VoldooPed 20
Taste good?
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Comments (52)
Coland 19
Normally that won't happen if you are wearing a helmet. Just saying
Kallian_fml 21
Helmets aren't air tight. Things blow in there pretty easy.
CyndiHouse3 5
YDI, because you should have been wearing a helmet, but it sucks that you got cut off.
InfiniteSunshine 32
This is an assumption I've seen a couple times now. No where in the FML does it say OP wasn't wearing one. There are motorcycle helmets that have an open face and just cover the forehead and the back of the head, and/or have glass/goggles that only cover the eyes. There are also ones where you can flip up the plastic protection over the face so you don't have to remove the whole helmet. Anyway, the OP could have been wearing a helmet and this event is still perfectly possible.
hellnosucka 27
You've got one filthy mouth OP.
InfiniteSunshine 32
The bug really sucks, but being cut off is something terrible about motorcycles too, it's something I hate and fear about them the most, especially since my dad drives one. Some other people in cars just don't understand how dangerous it is to cut off or ride close to them. Motorcycles don't have the protection like a car, accidents with them end bad. I mean, if either of those moves goes bad it'll end up probably killing or severally injuring the motorcyclists. It's best to keep extra distance and be mindful of them when they're around.
Ichiya 29
On the other hand many or the motorcyclist I see on the road are driving recklessly too. They weave through traffic, merge into lanes where there is barely enough room, drive way other the speed limit, don't watch for cars, run redlights and stop signs, and don't wear proper protection. Yes it is a car driver's responsibility to watch for other vehicles, but it should be doubly important for the person who has absolutely no protection to watch what other vehicles are doing and obey the traffic laws. The point Im making is that not all accidents are caused by car drivers and blaming them just because you don't want to admit the reality that driving a motorcycle is insanely risky and stupid is wrong.
allforfun 23
Everyone drives like an idiot anymore. We all need to slow down and give a crap about others.
CLOTHESPlN 17
I want to make a bad joke about karma and eating bugs, but I feel it would only be in bad taste
lilly_mate 1
That's a bug-ger
lennonfan 7
You have no idea how lucky you are, I was cut off four weeks ago as of yesterday. I'm stuck at home with three vertebral compression fractures and my knee was torn apart on the inside as it crushed my gas tank from the sheer force. Count your blessings.
Kallian_fml 21
I managed to get a broken foot pedal stuck in my hip when a car ran into me. Not sure how it happened but it made for a pretty cool x-ray. Hope you recover soon.
az2015 9
I know out here in Arizona we have a lot of rode rage and half the time it to do with people cutting motocyle off..
SilentSin 23
So I'm guessing you weren't wearing a helmet?
gunnerysgt 15
I ride with a full-face helmet for that exact reason