Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
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Top comments
man_in_black08 28
Plot twist: The pothole was planted by the old woman. Genius masterplan!
3molliver3 16
*crime music* When the elderly strike back
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Comments (46)
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Are you sure it didn't just fly out when u fell?
Brandi_Faith 34
I thought this too. I would have thought of that first before I thought of an old lady stealing it. I find it pretty weird that she would help and yet take your wallet as well. Of course it's a possibility but I hope op checked all around the area he fell first, just in case.
howdyjacker 11
Realistically, that's probably what happened.
UhHuhHoney 20
This is probably the same "old lady" from another previous FML post. Hahaha
ForeverJasmine 26
What a sly old lady lmao
buckdharma 38
Did she cop a feel too?
jesuis_julie 21
FML has showed me to be careful with elderly people.
gintwinsmoore 20
sorry ok, but that's ******* hilarious!!!
aliciabaird1269 11
Damn. That really sucks. You never expect the old lady to be the one to rob you. I'd be suspicious of everyone around me after that.
anthony89_fml 12
Denzel - To protect the sheep you have to catch the wolf, And it takes a wolf to catch a wolf. You understand me? White Dude - WHAT ??? Denzel - I SAID!!! You protect the sheep by killing the mother ******* wolf !! White Dude - yeah yeah I heard you. Denzel - No you didn't hear me!!, Your listening but you didn't hear me!!!
phoneaddict13 29
Op, I wouldn't put the word ''help'' in quotes because she really did help you. she just happened to help herself too
ZoroMiHawk 25
How do you know for sure the old lady stole your wallet? If the old lady was able to pickpocket you, then it means your wallet was placed in a pocket that either had no zip or was unzipped. You said you flew off the bike, which makes it a lot more likely that your wallet dropped out than the old lady stealing it.