Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
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Top comments
slushpup9696 12
Gotta compliment the technique, nobody ever expects the "ugly sweater mugging".
fancyclown 9
Hey man, when grandma makes you a sweater, you wear that shit.
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Comments (131)
hateevryone 15
i guess that's why he wore the sweater.
mancool124 4
#52 walmart.
kalkuta1 0
nice strategy of him... lol
lmfaooxox 1
He wore it on purpose lol because he knew people would be too distracted by his sweater so thy don't see his face looool
chels1994 11
However, the ugly sweater isn't going to help catch the bastard
girl112891 7
Use the sweater as a description for the police ;)
Buzzy123 7
He needed the money to buy a good looking sweater.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Pfft, I laughed. If you don't like it you could have just continued with the comments and ignored it.
bubuguzman 0
At least you aren't pregnant .
bizarre_ftw 22
Don't be too sure! Op, do your legs hurt?
gpd_deputy_1 6
It's the perfect crime.
gpd_deputy_1 6
It's the perfect crime.