Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML
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Top comments
tintiddle 0
"Today, a teacher convinced me to play baseball. He then started to hit me in the crotch and head with the ball. Now I can't pee without it hurting. FML"
allmidnighteyes 11
You got both his heads!
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Comments (62)
blastvortex 4
Ouch. That sucks. Have fun getting canned. You should've been more careful. =/
tintiddle 0
"Today, a teacher convinced me to play baseball. He then started to hit me in the crotch and head with the ball. Now I can't pee without it hurting. FML"
safaeita 32
Oh my god that made me feel sorrier for the kid hhh
ClumsyJason 3
This better not be a public school, cuz I don't fully believe in this story since this happened today at recess. Today is Sunday.. and I don't know anyone who goes to school on Sunday. Secondly, I think you did it on purpose unless you have really bad throwing skills...
Vacant 7
Every FML is forced to start with 'Today', could of happened awhile ago or even earlier this week.
ddlovatolover 23
And even if it was 'today' when he submitted it, it will still be left for a few days for people to moderate it and then get posted.
pickwick716 0
I hate it when I throw my balls at little kids, they just make the biggest fuss.
lissn 0
I hope you know how dirty this FML sounds.
allmidnighteyes 11
You got both his heads!
hotchilly 0
Oh, jeez, that was hilarious
zmaro 0
OMFG LOL 22 UR MY NEW BFF FOR SAYING THAT
Jem0_0 0
Wow if you hit him in the head and then in the crotch, you obviously must have thrown it accurately, right to him. The problem here seems to be that the student just can't catch lolol
fmljw 2
might i say you have mighty good aim...
HollyDolly660 8
Well that student is probably going to be affraid you're out to get him. At least that's what I would think, but maybe that's just me....
darkpath 0
more like FHL.