Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML
Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
I cannot imagine mistaking milk of magnesia for ordinary milk if you had poured yourself a glass full because it has a difference in thickness. So I assume you drank out it straight of the jug or carton. OP, if it was your jug or carton that’s one thing, but if you were drinking your roommates or shared milk out of the jug, he might have reason to be upset… There should be better ways for your roommate to get you to stop drinking their milk or shared milk out of the carton.
Suaria 38
Calcium and magnesium have an inverse relationship. Calcium will constipate while magnesium is a laxative. Milk of magnesia is essentially giving magnesium to someone for them to poop. So OP is less worried about getting poisoned by magnesium and more so worried about having to poop all night long.
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Comments (3)
jpaylay 15
ChatGPT says : “If someone accidentally ingests a small amount of magnesia, such as consuming a small portion of a skin care product or medication containing magnesium oxide, it is unlikely to cause significant harm. However, it is advisable to seek medical advice or contact a poison control center to assess the situation and obtain guidance.” You should be ok…
Suaria 38
Calcium and magnesium have an inverse relationship. Calcium will constipate while magnesium is a laxative. Milk of magnesia is essentially giving magnesium to someone for them to poop. So OP is less worried about getting poisoned by magnesium and more so worried about having to poop all night long.
core01 30
Do NOT take medical advice from chatgpt.
Ubehage 32
I hope you stayed in his side of the room the entire night. FYL
Chazzster 32
I cannot imagine mistaking milk of magnesia for ordinary milk if you had poured yourself a glass full because it has a difference in thickness. So I assume you drank out it straight of the jug or carton. OP, if it was your jug or carton that’s one thing, but if you were drinking your roommates or shared milk out of the jug, he might have reason to be upset… There should be better ways for your roommate to get you to stop drinking their milk or shared milk out of the carton.