Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
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Top comments
josh7279 7
Tag you're it!
Welshite 40
I don't always recognize my children, but when I do I make sure to hit them with my vehicle.
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Comments (71)
candyycurnn 10
That's hilarious. Of course being he was just trying to be funny.
Xotoolyxo 16
Your dad is funny, he might have just been trying to motivate you
joopjoop 19
tag! you're it!
Thatguy334 7
I'd go with assault with a deadly weapon. Might not get in any serious trouble, but would probably have his license suspended
brewmasterg 34
You must be a ******* joy to be around.
Cheezes 7
Practice run
cynical78 15
Brings to mind a story about a girl named Lizzie Borden ...
yankeesfancg 13
Your dad sounds pretty awesome
QU33NOFAWKWARD 16
It was a "love tap"
Icemist 6
wait an hour call and saw your at hospital with a broken leg cause some fool hit you with a car.
Poetaster 10
Ha!! Love your dad!! Way funny