Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
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Top comments
josh7279 7
Tag you're it!
Welshite 40
I don't always recognize my children, but when I do I make sure to hit them with my vehicle.
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Comments (71)
masika15 16
Maybe he thought you weren't moving fast enough, wanted to give you that extra push.
HeartOfLead 24
It sounds like your dad is a pushy exercise coach. But he is just trying to help you bump down your weight. If you don't like it, tell him to go the *beep* home.
Blazinthatshit 9
Why do people like you take these FMLs so seriously? I doubt he was being an excersize coach. He was probably just trying to be funny. I run kids over all the time, it's hilarious.
JasonUMN 15
It was just a love tap to motivate you to go!
ViviMage 40
File a police report against him for hitting a pedestrian with a car.
michelleJ11 25
I hope you're kidding ...
jeffwolff96 6
Was he blaring Eye of the tiger as he did it?? cause it could be motivation.
xenmarkal51 6
You should hav3 flicked him off to see if he would come back!
Welshite 40
Fathers aren't quite mosquitos.
DrownedMyFish 18
Why did you replace the e in have with a 3?
RedPillSucks 33
the 3 is right above the e on many keyboards. Just a typo.
redpanda11 10
#25 I think #19 means flipped off not flicked
gracehi 33
A love tap? That's what I call it when I punch my brother in the arm. Your dad just used a multi-ton machine instead of his fist. That must mean he loves you a lot! You sure are lucky, OP. I sure wish I had someone who loved me enough to strike me with their car and drive away.
perdix 31
He tried to make a quick getaway hoping you wouldn't be able to make a positive ID. Do you have a creepy uncle that resembles him? Yes? Then, it was him!!!
Shadowbay 18
Haha I could imagine my uncle doing that and then slowly backing up and pull away all with a serious expression.. don't you just love family??
finalyearsofhate 22
And you lived to tell the tale!