Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
Today, I was running late for a job interview so I took what I thought was a shortcut through an dank alleyway. I ended up getting chased by a pack of stray cats and arrived at the interview covered in scratches and cat hair. FML
Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I finally had an interview for my dream job. It was all going great until I started chuckling uncontrollably, snorted like a pig and hit the guy with the world's largest snot rocket. All I could do was slip out the door as he sat paralysed with shock. FML
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Those douchebags sure showed you their true colors, OP
dawood_k 27
Ain't nothing like painting the town red, and it's people too... (Was it at least red paint?)
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Comments (92)
middlenamefrank 8
The best thing about this post is most of us were given a new derogatory thing to call people -- "cockbites". That's just epic! That may be the best thing about English, there are so many local flavors we all have lots to offer.
alicat13 12
So you did not paint a good picture at the interview :-)
TogeBara 12
I'd have went to the job interview anyway and told them exactly what happened. Dedication to a job is a bonus. Especially if it is the type of job for which you would have to dress nicely. I've given interviews before and I've got to say, if someone showed up telling me that, and the interview went well, they would pretty much have the job. Loyalty and dedication are great features to have in potential employees.
Aero_x 21
I'm sorry OP. This is horrible to have happened, but it also made me laugh. Hard.
mrtlwolf 4
Church? Is that you, Church?
Ewelty3 19
Reminds me of spongebob
t1tzRw1n 8
I'm sure if you told the interviewer what happened they'd understand, they might even find it funny! :) good luck job searching!!
sugarmonster42 7
Guess the job wasn't meant to be
swim4life41401 1
I am sooo sorry
dylabrandon321 3
Just the typical ass holes that inhabit our world these days. they're everywhere. ..