Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML
Hand it over
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
This is war!
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Top comments
KhaeKhae1 3
Senior citizens...sometimes dangerous,remember to think twice when an old lady asks you to help her cross the street.
nchov523 11
Awh, 7, you ruined our chances to make up funny acronyms :(
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Comments (124)
101pimpdaddymac 6
You should of pushed her and forced her to call the authorities.
DocBastard 40
Are you illiterate or just stupid? The old lady had a gun. Get it? Oh, and it's "should have".
196hill 3
I'm a 15 years serving member if the Armed Forces I sleep once a week. Stop bitching
salarroyo10 2
You don't know a damn thing about PTSD!
cader29 2
Don't be such a pussy this is what is the matter with America you have a disorder it's called moron work on fixing that.
krez 20
FYL... Even if you were brave / stupid enough to side step and fight her off, you'd end up being the guy who beat up an old lady. On a side note, I just read that they may have found a medication that cures PTSD (or you can self-medicate with some MDMA if you can stand listening to house music).
outoftown 27
There are meds to help interrupt the development of PTSD, if taken soon after trauma. A lot cheaper than therapy later. If OP doesn't have health insurance, his state/locale may have victim assistance funds for this. Best of luck, OP.
sar4hboo 16
Reminds me of a meme I once saw: "If the good die young, that's why old people are assholes." Haha it isn't true most of the time but it fits this FML I think.
DanielT1994 19
Well you won't know you have PTSD until (and only if) at least 6 months after the incident, you randomly have flashbacks and whatnot. But you should've been able to handle granny.
myeviltwin 20
Seriously? You got mugged by an old lady? Who next a little girl? Thanks for the laugh though.
bugmenotmofo 34
You know, little girl with a gun can still put a bullet in your head, so yes, you can be mugged by a little girl too.
SoylentCandycorn 10
A bullet in your skull is still a bullet in your skull, no matter who put it there. Would you try mouthing off to someone with a lethal weapon?
sugarshane007 20
Gimme your money young whippersnapper!
juwood 7
bet you didn't see it coming, eh?