Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I had my first date with a cute older guy. What started as a perfect night ended in tears when we ran into my mom at the drugstore while he was buying us beer and condoms. She gave him a verbal lashing of a lifetime and told him my real age, 17. I'd told him I was 22. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
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Top comments
fisheatsbear 6
he can just go turn in his penis and his man card in now
ghostwitch1863 0
finished with what? or was that an excuse to get away from you? sounds suspect to me.
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Comments (173)
droppintacos 0
he busted, that's what he meant by I'm finished and left he couldn't stay! premature combustion ha!
monkeypaw 0
I **** right in my pants when ur standing next to me. and when we're holding hands, it's like having sex with me.
Vitamin_C 0
LMAO! happened to me before - all of a sudden the guy sat up and said "sorry, I never finish that fast but it's been a while". F both our lives...
UrLiFsuX 4
sounds like both "you and the OP" can't kiss lol
Vitamin_C 0
the wet stain on his jeans said otherwise...
UrLiFsuX 4
he would have to be an EXTREME virgin, as in has never masterbated or been touched by a woman before. so to believe this happened to you two by just kissing, lol he was done alright! just done with you slobbering in his mouth
Vitamin_C 0
bitch, much? just coz you can't turn anyone on doesn't mean no one else can!
UrLiFsuX 4
how was that a "bitch?" sounds like I hit it dead on since your pissed lol. haha go turn on your dog with them kisses
Vitamin_C 0
umm telling someone they're "slobbering" is an insult, telling someone to turn on their dog is an insult. ergo, you're a bitch. go **** yourself, you might be less of a cow to complete strangers :)
ksharp 0
he was prolly just finished kissing your fat ugly face and didint want to ruin his buzz
niibee 0
maybe he was tired lol
RicardoOno 2
I still dont know.
oceanbeauty 17
lol what do you even say to that? I'm sorry though. fyl. you just should have said "damn I'm THAT good. I didn't even have to do anything" lol
angry_wildebeast 0
oh my god haha. either your really hot or he's never touched his dick before
yourefunnykinda 0
if he thought she was ugly and a bad kisser he wouldnt have made out with her for a long time.... but i think its weird that not even some of your clothes were off and that a 23 year old is having premature ejaculation....akward.
Smitty22 0
he's either gay or u stink one or the other.