Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I had my first date with a cute older guy. What started as a perfect night ended in tears when we ran into my mom at the drugstore while he was buying us beer and condoms. She gave him a verbal lashing of a lifetime and told him my real age, 17. I'd told him I was 22. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
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Top comments
fisheatsbear 6
he can just go turn in his penis and his man card in now
ghostwitch1863 0
finished with what? or was that an excuse to get away from you? sounds suspect to me.
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Comments (173)
KurouTenshi 0
I'm sure it was a figure of speech.
xn8gx 0
Nothing comes easy unless you are having issues with premature ejaculation
kazumaslayer666 3
and when we hold hands it's like having sex to me and I jizzed in my pants you call me premature I just call it ectasy (spelt wrong).
perdix 31
That's disgusting that the chaperones at the high school prom are dry humping in front if all of the minors they are supposed to be protecting from exactly that kind of action! (Dry humping for one of you, at least;)) If you think this is mythical, please refer to the "**** in My Pants" video.
FYLDeep 26
Did you hear the story of the two teachers that got suspended after one gave the other a lap dance in front of the whole school? There's a video of it somewhere.
Zills 0
awesome that may be hard to find with the swarms of **** on the Internet.
iloveloosy12 0
it's possible cause you fail. he was done kissing you ya weirdy
goonie85 0
Haha! Yes! Last night I saw a film, as I recall it was a horror film.....
PandasRtheShit 0
Stepped outside into the rain. Checked my phone and i saw you rang. And I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!
CallMeHush 1
You made him pop his knot, damn you're good!
furburger 0
Next time, he should "try" to fantasize about Snickerdoodles. Problem solved.
Shmeaty 0
what were u doing at a high school prom?
f_your_life_09 0
omg. @48: 1.) read the FML again. 2.) read the comments that r above u. the FML says "LIKE (do u know what that word means) a 16 year old at prom" LIKE MEANING THEY R NOT HIGH SCHOOLERS AND FOR THE FEW PEOPLE ABOVE THAT SAID SOMETHING ABOUT BEING A CHAPARONE...IT SAYS NOTHING OF THE SORT!!!! all of u need to learn how to read before u comment on the FML
Lg11 3
lol and you need to stop being such a douche #59
jal10a 1
@ 59 its from a diff video everyone got a laff out of they aint tlkin bout them bein chaperones
sasonzal 4
maybe when he said he finished he ment he came,b4 reading the other people comments I was sure that it's what da fml is about