Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I had my first date with a cute older guy. What started as a perfect night ended in tears when we ran into my mom at the drugstore while he was buying us beer and condoms. She gave him a verbal lashing of a lifetime and told him my real age, 17. I'd told him I was 22. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fisheatsbear 6
he can just go turn in his penis and his man card in now
ghostwitch1863 0
finished with what? or was that an excuse to get away from you? sounds suspect to me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
ScaryyMary 14
"He rolls away" Was it like a kick-ass spy move? Maybe he's just too aloof for sex. Or he already stole your wallet while inexpertly groping you.
rstroupe 0
u ppl r dumb as ****, it has nothing 2 do w morals, dude ******* nutted his pants---DERP!!!!!
mzmiff132 1
surprisingly the same thing has happened to me but he was my boifriend...25yr olds these days w.t.f lmao
kingwaldo 0
Were you THAT good or THAT bad?
Dopplegangers 0
if u kiss like your analogy then I dont blame the guy...
mempholicious 0
that is bizarre
ashlea925 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
mcme 0
**** IN MY PANTS!!!! Lol
ndiesal 0
Look, it's pretty clear from the verbage of this FML that the guy blew his load in his pants. The OP might be that damn good, but he needs some help. I think there's pills for that...they may or may not work though...
cannonchic 0
the best temptation is the current moment..if you can keep your clothes on in the hot steamy moment, that's the best sex you can have with your clothes on!! Grow up!
upintheorange 5
it's not as hot if the only reason you're not having sex is that the guy can't last through the part with clothes on. what a fine specimen of a man...NOT!