Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML
Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML
Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I had my first date with a cute older guy. What started as a perfect night ended in tears when we ran into my mom at the drugstore while he was buying us beer and condoms. She gave him a verbal lashing of a lifetime and told him my real age, 17. I'd told him I was 22. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
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Top comments
fisheatsbear 6
he can just go turn in his penis and his man card in now
ghostwitch1863 0
finished with what? or was that an excuse to get away from you? sounds suspect to me.
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Comments (173)
swagga0n1oo 0
List of a puns... 1. that blows (continue below)
cyberotter 0
premature detanation. the idiot tried to practice.
winterharte 0
then he JIZZED IN HIS PANTS! hehe oh and to the person above me, it's spelled 'detonation'
UberFail79 0
Damn. I was hoping no-one beat me to it. JIZZED. IN. HIS PANTS.
pookness 2
"I need a few things from the grocery, I do things alone now mostely.."
cyberotter 0
rofl win "picked my phone And i saw you rang and I jizzed in my pants"
jolipetitamour 0
haha, that is the first thing I thought of!
Monikabug 9
15 ftw. :)
noobienick 19
Left me heart broken, not looking for love Surprise in my eyes when looked above The checkout counter and I saw her face My heart stood still, so did time and space Never thought that I can feel real again But the look in her eyes said I need a friend She turned to me, that's when she said it Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash or credit" And I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
madskillz3088 0
yeah u made someone happy.... no fml
jenni_1285 0
like finished kissing or like finished cumming in his pants?
supahcoolperson 0
I have no clue which one
bmalley 0
if you're that good at making out let's get together.
ssch 0
he got bored lol
rhanana 0
seems like the opposite? o-o lol
lol_ironic_life 9
lol that's sad :(
9010649 3
P.E!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cupcaken 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY#
tiamarie 0
don't most people graduate at 18? why are a 23,25year old at a highschool prom? I call bull shit!
dropdeaddani 0
Making out "LIKE" a couple of sixteen-year-olds at a high school prom. But yeah, awkward phrasing on the OP's part kind of.
thatpianoguy612 0
Wooooooow..
mydiclovesu2 0
screw u
dman4412 0
shouraku: thanks for the copy paste from the dictionary. I'm sure it couldn't be paraphrased into anything shorter than that wall of text. anyways it's a poor example. who says "oh yeah me and this girl were making out like two teenagers at the prom"? I think that sounds so stupid
Blacktivate 0
**** kids^
bigd18 0
Somebody needs to learn how to read.