Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
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Top comments
KuronoEru 26
Order a pizza, write the instructions as "make a smiley face with pepperoni" good luck!
HarshD9619 34
Hang in there OP, things will be better. And I always see reruns of my favorite TV series to cheer myself up, you can do the same maybe!
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Comments (81)
BlackHawkSavior 28
It had a happiness overload
pita2423 10
I listen too comedy when I'm unhappy, hope u feel better soon
aeryn97 17
my sis set the oven on fire with a pepperoni pizza. anyway hope things start looking up for you
cakaw 14
That's so sad!
doge_ram 16
If you're feeling down watch Friends!
YourOpinionSucks 22
You deserve it for letting it burn. Active cooking; where you taste your food so you know it's being made correctly, and a little concept that is PAYING ATTENTION TO IT. I'm sorry you're unhappy, a regular pepperoni pizza won't help though. Only the meat lovers pizza will.
yepthisisit 15
At least the pizza didn't take the house with it. There, that's something to be happy about.
beeferjay 34
it's a sign from the oven god........ he says next time set a timer
chuka81 27
This is actually an FML about pizza getting burned. Wow.
ham_spam 17
Thats exactly what I'm thinking so sad though how could anyone be stupid enough to burn a pizza
moodyreallyrocks 27
Please don't sweat it OP, it really doesn't matter about the pizza. Just take it one day at a time and always live for the moment..