Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML
Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
try sprinkling salt into your hand and then put it in the food
Eir_fml 1
I'd say don't give up. Cooking can be fun, and delicious.
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Comments (50)
Timmytwofinger 0
try sprinkling salt into your hand and then put it in the food
Mbpiratedude 0
I'm sorry you spent 1 hour and 30 hours doing something. Hahaha, spell check.
daniisme 0
read dumbass. it says 1h30 not 1 hour 30 hour
Stand_Up 0
Owned!. Good job! Spell check for you too buddy boy ;D
Eir_fml 1
I'd say don't give up. Cooking can be fun, and delicious.
Alanna_Vicious 0
Cumin?
spenceroone3 0
lol it's a spice... from my dick
43trauts 14
I knew someone was gonna say that...
rosary143 1
Nice pic x(
MINETURTLExD 0
I see you like Fall Out Boy. Very nice...(:
zakiwaki1351 0
at #6 a very salty spicy spice. yaa for alliteration!
VictoriaShu_fml 0
No cumin is not "very salty".
redbluegreen 41
I'm laughing at cumin. I don't know if its bad luck with the salt, but don't give up. After all, every one makes mistakes~
butter_flew 0
ooooh that sucks. ;[
happygoluckyhh 0
Should be more spacific. You wrote "the top came off the salt" Salt doesn't have tops...salt SHAKERS have tops. "The top fell off the salt shaker and poured all over my dinner!" would have been more spacific. Sucks for you, though. I agree with what some other people who said that you should pour the salt in your hand FIRST. At least you learned your lesson.
dontpanic_fml 32
How about you learn how to spell 'specific' first.
VictoriaShu_fml 0
lol exactly!
frikkinhannah 0
I lol'd at this comment, it was a grammar speech
starberries 0
Actually, "The top fell off the salt shaker and poured all over my dinner!" indicates that the top poured all over the dinner.
Ikz_Hustler 9
I dunno why I LOL'd so hard at "spacific"
cmyk 19
I read spastic. and lol'd.
not_kidding 0
That's so nit-picky. Everyone understood what OP meant, and it's a common expression. You don't say "Pass the milk carton," you say "Pass the milk."
sportcrazychick4 7
I actually had no idea what he went! Haha so thanks for the heads up!
meta_knight_486 5
That sucks... hard. But, as the saying goes, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again".
mystomachurts 3
This is stupid. Carefully scoop up all the salt that spilled. Then throw out any of the beef chili that got the extra salt on it. (I'm doubting the top came off the salt yet you still proceeded to pour it over the entire pot?)
SirJamin 4
Exactly what I was thinking, try fixing the problem before running over to your computer to fyl about it.