Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
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Top comments
lifeftl 0
man your mom is an awesome cockblock
bioclock 0
Oh my god. What?
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Comments (123)
llllight 0
Have you heard of tampons? Also you're kind of an asshole for making her dry clean those for you. Hand wash them yourself or something and buy more absorbent pads/tampons.
rachel42 0
gah big damn deal! Every single girl gets their period. and whether they admit it or not, all guys know it. We have accidents. Suck it up. Shit happens.
FusioN_fml 0
#4 = win
Tick_fml 0
Wow. I just wanna know why she would feel the need to say that right there and then.
babe7260 30
No shit!!!!! I feel SO bad for you!!!!!!
genius_man16 1
agree with #4, that is the lulz although that is a pretty bitchy thing for your mom to do
butterflys322 0
#11 is a douche.
love_lucy 0
number 11: she said DRYCLEAN, meaning she can't wash them which would involve water and girls have accidents jeez, my period was so heavy when i was younger that the first day of almost every period i would bleed through unless i changed my pad every class or two which is impractical... and i'd wear NIGHTIME pads and it would still go through
laceyanneman 7
Fyl
effthis 0
damn
skygirl27 0
ha! I agree with #13
redhusk89 0
hope you said something along the lines of "I wish I knew why that woman was stalking me..." Don't worry so much he was probably more mortified than you were at your mom and it might have even strengthed your chances. no way it's a YDI but I doubt you're life is really F'd