Today, I was involved in a debate. Things got out of control, insults were hurled, and by the end friends were lost. The subject of the debate? Whether snot has enough calories in it to be nutritional. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML
Today, my friend went on a lengthy rant about how people are "healthy at any size" and I need to embrace fat pride, after I said I intend to lose weight to alleviate my digestive and breathing troubles. Apparently her activist forum knows more about my health than my own doctor. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML
Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML
Today, I had a debate at school. I had diligently studied my position, digging up historical parallels, researching the economics, and preparing citations. I lost to a guy who just yelled, "Tax the billionaires" to every question. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jet223 20
So. Don't leave us hanging. Is it?
jet223 20
Well actually snot itself does not boost your immune system but rather it is the first response of the immune system. The first response is not antigen specific and just keeps out all intruding substances. The mucus traps the bacterium and then sends it out via the nose and that is why it is not smart to swallow or sniff back in your mucus.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
FunnyAsf 2
Eewwww
goldens_fml 12
Are you sure it was a debate? If it was then there would be some logic to support each side. If not, it may have been an argument instead. Incidentally I support the fact that it does have nutritional value.
Tannasgh 22
Google is your friend...
truckers_wife 23
so I just Googled it and no joke, I literally found a "booger nutrition facts" chart, as if it was packaged as food. it said that in a serving (.25 mL) there are 5 calories, 36 mg of sodium, 12 mg of protein, 2% of your daily value of calcium, and 1% of your daily value of vitamin C.
RedPillSucks 33
@47 so what part of the food pyramid does it fall into?
truckers_wife 23
if anything I guess it would be protein since it has more of that than anything else
chuchusheep 19
the nasty part
smoothies14 32
Calories does not equate nutrition. This is a non-argument.
capnbzarr 43
By definition, all participants in such a debate are losers.
PsychicBulwark 4
Nutrients and calories are two completely different terms that you seem to be trying to use interchangeably. And snot is mostly immune secretions. Your concern should be how much you could consume before you got sepsis.
cyberI7 13
WTF. Imagine if a real problem came along. Give your heads shake!
messymessiah 11
Obviously not very strong friendships