Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I was feeling more and more sick, with significant pain in my abdomen. Nobody believed me, and my grandma told me to stop whinging and to eat something. I tried but started vomiting, and now I'm being rushed into surgery with an already necrotic appendix. FML
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
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Top comments
Harri20n 9
Anyone else wish the FML app would go back to the way it was before, without the horrible ads, crashing and comment problems?
TabooSushi 24
Because there is no other possible way for you to have gotten that infection, apparently... Geez, is your family highly religious, or just crazy? Cause that just sounds batcrap crazy.
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Comments (28)
yankesik 16
Ask them if they're speaking from their own experience. Just kidding, I'd want to get you disowned.
trucker2 33
That got to be a virus going around..... wait until your mother or grandmother catches it... hand them some anal ease cream and wink...
lone_fenrir_1 1
I got extreme parents. ...any one want to help me get even with them? my parents are extremely homophobic and extremely religious so a gay sex should solve every thing, honestly anal sex ain't the only way. ... your life suks
saffy66 34
Your mother is as dirty-minded as mine was when I was young.
charliewhippet 9
Maybe get your doctor to have a word and eplain how these things actually work?
cornyrob 33
Well, did you?
cornyrob 33
Well, did you?
PhoenixChick 26
Let me guess- your mom also accused your sister of "whoring around" when she got a yeast infection, and told you this was a warning from god not to give ******** when you needed your tonsils out?
TMO2142 25
1. hope you get better. 2. its hilarious that they think that to be honest, parents are weird!
LJB93 14
This had me in stitches ??