Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pet my neighbour's two cats. They were at opposite ends of the same room, so I could only pet one at a time. When I pet one, the other one felt lonely and cried for me. I felt sorry for her. Cutest FML ever. FML
Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister, and me. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RpiesSPIES 27
Yes... Your snake... Lets call it that.
FMLJFL 5
What a wonderful first impression you've left, but who cares when you have your snake!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
James_is_Mexican 25
That's pretty sad, I can be your friend :) just message me on kik or something
xxxkassixxx 8
Lol xD maybe the snake is your friend
hastings101 4
OP is going to end up on one of those fatal attractions animal planet series
repKyle95 24
Don't even mention that series - all they ever do is spew false information to feed people's fear of animals because they know that's what sells. Then people start trying to put ridiculous regulations in place to restrict the types of reptiles we can keep. I understand regulating endangered species and venomous snakes, but beyond that, why should someone else be allowed to tell me what animals I can keep in my own house? It's not like I'm forcing other people to interact with them. That's essentially like me telling you, "I don't like the color of your armchair" and then making it illegal to own.
tranced_ 45
time to introduce your snake to your neighbors..
Thr33to16 8
Probably because you never go out because you're too busy with your "pet snake "
jonahwalzer 12
A snake wont talk behind your back or do anything to hurt you!:)
SuperMew 22
Get it hungry enough and it might try to eat you.
davidpropert 32
Voldemort?
nmrg 10
They are creeps for eaves dropping apparently.
Jeffy91 28
Why are you complaining for? Obviously your neighbor cared enough to give ya pretty good advice, so in a way wouldn't that make them a friend. I mean thats what friends do is help each other out. Maybe if ya wish upon a star, you could turn your snake into a human which could be your friend. Wait... dont do that. With legs he is bound to ditch your ass then. Forget the whole wish upon a star ordeal. Maybe you are better off with a snake being your friend. aha
TheAngryPrincess 3
Yeah your pet "snake"...lol