Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML
Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
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Top comments
deathburger13 0
Replace your moms ***** with a taser and paint it pink :)
Rakayum 0
nobody likes a tattle tale.
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Comments (318)
doof_fisch 2
If you would have found a vibrator in her room, would you have told your parents? I would have done what you did, but I'm just curious if you would have done the same thing had you found a sex toy in her room. If that was the case, then we'd have all kinds of people on this thread telling us that vibrators don't necessarily mean you're masturbating. They can be used for stirring hot chocolate, etc...LOL
Blacksnake_fml 0
Dude, you just OWNED everybody on this forum. You rock!
laptop_boone 0
You must smash every item that your parents hold dear. In the immortal wisdom of Dan Savage, NOT releasing seminal fluids regularly increases the chances of developing testicular cancer. In other words, no wank = dead at 35. Also, they called you "Filthy"? WHAT KIND OF FUCKTARDS ARE THESE PEOPLE?! SMAASH THEIR LAPTOPS!!
RuralNinja 0
Thats because they're making money selling videos of her doing it to the creepy guy down the street.
EWKHou 0
I guess she needed them to prevent carrying a baby of a rapist.
RKftw 0
DUDE. do you not realize you are in the clear???
himynameisnovi 0
hahahahahahaha
bellaswanvampire 0
Well, that's what you get for telling your parents your sister is having sex.
peacelovtwilight 0
umm Maybe your sis is the favorite child- FYL but YDI for telling on her.
SickToDeath 0
FYL dude. and I dont mean f ur life, i mean f ur laptop! poor laptop :(
spreadtheword1o1 0
girl birth control pills= period they probably said that cuz they didn't want to say she's having her period