Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees when I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML
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Top comments
Altrown_fml 0
I laughed so ******* hard. MERGE MY CELLS, BABY! OH YEAH! WRAP THAT TEXT! GIVE ME A HEADING FORMAT!
cracktus 0
You can be aroused by things other than sexual thoughts. Pretty much anything that's present and strong in your mind can get you going.
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Comments (51)
AzeHole 4
nerd alert!!
rycubed 24
Aah, that just means you like a challenge!!
dirtyprancing65 7
Nothing wrong with loving your job I guess
penguinpinz 8
"What's your sexual orientation?" "I'm sexually attracted to spreadsheets."