Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Blazingcrono 6
I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Duct tape to remove cactus thorns? What a rip off.
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Comments (104)
xxzackyyxx 0
you sir, are awesome :D
ChantelRenaeee 0
yeah. it's cacti.-.-
Rykier 0
Next we know she's going to start saying Deers and Gooses. Is your school accepting transfers? the education system there sounds just lovely
hideyoself 4
Rango
Rykier 0
Unsuccessful joke is unsuccessful.
fthku 13
Why would you have duct tape? Anyway, if anything that just pushed the thorns in some more when you put it over your arms and legs. Use tweezers next time, and fingers for whatever thorns are possible to just pick with your hands.
Dubstorm 0
Can you teach me the difference between nouns and pronouns? I would also like some lessons on capitalization.
Rykier 0
It's called stay in school. That usually helps.
Laughing_Cow 0
cfalen 0
duct tape is like the force it has a light side and a dark side which holds the universe together.